The fictional religion of Tender Branson in Chuck Palahniuk's novel Survivor. A very strange one, and its good to know that it was fictional. The Creedish were a Christian group that set up their own separatist church colony in Nebraska. 20,000 acres worth. There they lived without modern conveniences such as the TV or telephone.

Only the firstborn son in a Creedish family could marry and stay within the church colony. He would invariably be named Adam. The younger boys (even the younger twin-- Creedish doctrine did not acknowledge 2nd place) were named Tender (they tended to your needs). Girls would all be named Biddy (they do your bidding).

Upon turning 18, Tenders and Biddies would be baptized and immediatly sent out into the outside world to take on domestic labor jobs. Adams would stay in the colony and proceed to get married (in an arranged marrige of course, to a biddy of the church's choosing). After that, they would proceed to make Creedish babies like there was no tomorrow, elevating them from Adam to Elder.

Creedish in the outside world were trained. They were schooled on the proper way to perform domestic tasks. The Tenders and Biddies went to school before they were 18. They were to wear baggy wool clothes no matter what the weather was like outside. Upon meeting each other, they were only to say a few passing phrases (No hugs, no handshakes, heads bowed until the "conversation" was completed):

  • May you be of complete service in your lifetime.
  • Praise and glory to the Lord for this day through which we labor.
  • May our efforts bring all those around us to heaven.
  • May you die with all your work complete

Creedish in the outside world often had mental problems. Many were chronic masturbaters. Some had problems with kleptomania. They were required to keep pets after one Biddy stole a baby. Tender Branson had goldfish. Six hundred forty-one of them, after each had died.

A major part of Creedish theology was the Deliverance. Once this was called, all Creedish were to kill themselves upon hearing word. The idea was to deliver themselves into heaven. Of course, since they didn't have phones or TV, this was a much less speedy ordeal. But as soon as word came around, the Tenders and Biddies were programmed to kill themselves.

Spoiler Alert

Celibacy was an important theme in the life of the Creedish outside of the colony. The tenders and biddies were forced to watch the births of all the children to promote the idea sex = bad. This lead to the eventual downfall of the cult.

The Creedish elders were bigots who dealed in slavery. They would make special contracts with people for the Creedish children, who were trained to be perfectly obedient servants. To the Creedish the children were only income.

The Creedish Church was ended by the Delivarence. Once the government found out how many children were being born without birth certificates, they rode into the colony to find all that all the Creedish killed themselves (Something not unheard of when dealing with groups like this). Then, the Tenders and Biddies started killing themselves. The government set up the Survivor Retention Program to keep the remaining Creedish from killing themselves. Every few years, a few rounds of suicide would start up and then end. Eventually, a serial killer would start killing remaining survivors.

I need to read this book over again. /msg me with anything I left out or got wrong.

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