Coach McGuirk is, in my opinion, one of the most compelling characters in Adult Swim's Home Movies.

Do you know what I went to school for? I went to school to be an architect. And now I coach elementary school soccer.

He seeks support (and borrows money) from the eight-year-olds he coaches. They seem to look condescendingly upon him, as does everyone else, except Brendon's mother, who once dated him.

Melissa: Coach McGuirk, are you on another bender? McGuirk: Melissa, who taught you that word? Melissa: Ummm... You did.

Melissa (at the mall, selling girl-scoutish things): Coach McGuirk, are you drunk? McGuirk: Of course. Why else would I be at the mall? On a more personal note, his voice is exactly like that of the TA in my Ancient Greek class.

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