Whilst wandering the streets of the town of Solihull, which incidentally is where I live in England, I noticed that the pavement upon which I was walking had been divided in two, one half for pedestrians and the other half for cyclists, with these two sections divided by a white line. Upon further perusal of this situation I realised that by walking upon this white line I am neither a cyclist or a pedestrian. What was I? In limbo, thats what. Legally, I ceased to exist and therefore could do what I wanted.

This, although sounding good at the time, I soon realised was rather limited. How could one, for example, loot a shop or run a red light whilst remaining upon the white line? The answer is all too obvious: you can't. I thought of several solutions; perhaps I could throw a rock at a shop window and use a fake hand on a big stick to retrieve goods whilst still on the white line.

This, however, was treating the symptoms and not the cause. I decided the best course of action would be to acquire a tin of white paint and a paintbrush. After throwing a rock through a shop window and taking the above items with a fake hand on a big stick, I began to paint a white line stemming from the one I was on and leading into my local computer shop, whereupon I helped myself to this laptop.

Although it would be illegal to begin painting my own white line, I was on the original white line to begin with and thus my legal nonexistence was assured. Therefore as I no longer existed no-one could prove that I actually painted my own white line as, legally, it also did not exist. Therefore I was unable to walk on it, meaning that I was not walking upon it, but, as I quite plainly was, I must also share its state of nonexistence and could thus do as I pleased whilst remaining thereon.

I recommend to anyone in a similar situation to do the same.

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.