How has no one yet noded the ultimate populist British TV show
, Blind Date?
Presented by ex-singer Cilla Black, it's the program they can't replace. The format has become the blueprint for copycat shows on every channel, but the original is still the best.
All TV companies, when recruiting researchers ask candidates to submit a 500 word pitch for a program like Blind Date, then carefully file away the ideas to use as their own at a later date!
Black presides over a female contestant picking one of an unseen line-up of three lads, and vice versa. The two couples from last week also return to discuss how much they hated the others guts. Unless they get on famously, whereupon Cilla makes a joke about buying a hat. Cue uproariously laughter from the entire country.*
The three questions are in fact written by the researchers, as the contestants are often so mind-numbingly stupid that they can't even come up with the base double-entendres required.
Of the three people concealed behind the screen, one is often a "madcap" personality, put in to entertain the audience, and standing little chance of winning the Date due to being blatantly pathetic / a psycho / living with his mum, aged 39.
People always end up picking the prospect with the most similar accent to themselves, as they tend to feel safe if they stick to their own class - toffs pick Sloanes, Essex lads pick Cockney lasses and so on. Alternatively, someone with a spookily similar passion for pet tarantulas will be planted in the line-up by the mischievous researchers.
While the contestants don't always shag the person they were matched to, they often end up shagging a third party. Unless they're the Golden Oldies, who no-one really wants to watch, and whose appearance creates a power surge, around the country - "Oh no, it's old people. Fuck this, I'll make a cup of tea"
*One Blind Date resulted in a Wedding - Cilla wore a hat, which became the talk of the tabloids. I think it had been a quiet week.