When Bart Simpson
is assigned to be Lisa Simpson
on Kidz News
, he goes to TV's Kent Brockman
for advice on how to be the best newsman he can be on The Simpsons
's episode "Girly Edition
that the best way to achieve fame as a newscaster
is with fluff
pieces that tug at the heartstrings
and cloud the mind
. Thus Bart
creates "Bart's People", a segment of Kidz News
where he talks in a solemn, serious voice about whatever sappy
goings-on he can find.
"Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond every day for the past seventeen years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe
made a discovery. The ducks...were gone. Some say the ducks went
to Canada. Others say, Toronto. And some people think that Joe
used to sit down there, (camera moves to another nearby pond) near
those ducks. But it could be, that there's just no room in this
modern world, for an old man...and his ducks."
The "Bart's People" segment becomes a overnight sensation
and turns Bart
into a local celebrity. Everyone, it seems, wants to be one of Bart's People.
"Of forgotten veterans: Their guns are quiet now. Their helmets lost, or pawned. And yet here they are, making flags out of old clothes.
Sure, they may not have the right number of stripes. And the colors
are all wrong. And some purists will tell you the American flag
doesn't contain the word 'Jordache'. But you know, if they run this
up the flagpole, I'll salute."
The "Bart's People" segment was eventually cancelled with the rest of Kidz News
and repleaced with The Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour