Half Man, Half Biscuit
song from their 1985
. The lyrics are a pastiche
of George Orwell
's Animal Farm
. As is customary with Half Man, Half Biscuit
, there are references galore to obscure
. The song takes a humorous
look at politics
. It was written during the Cold War
Arthur Askey and Sir Douglas Bader went down to the Animal Farm
Dougie bored a boar with his stories from the war
And explained about the boil on his palm.
Napoleon very pink offered both of them a drink
And a drink and a drink and a drink
Come the hour of four they were legless to be sure
And not one of them had even had a wink
And everybody sang as loud as they could,
Four legs bad - two legs good.
This made the boys feel pretty oppressed.
Came the new realm, it was A.A. at the helm
While Dougers played 'Luftwaffe' on the roofs,
After amputating limbs all the others wrote new hymns
And a signpost read 'Second hand hooves'.
Years passed by, double grazing in the sky.
It was good but it was total apathy,
Everybody arsed around and that 'Beasts of England'
Sound had been ruined by a busy busy bee.
And chants were heard from the East to the West,
Four legs good - no legs best,
Invalidity reigned supreme,
One time visitors were now the regime.