Satyr came to me the other night saying he was having a hard time breaking the ice with his new boyfriend, (It didn't look as things were going as planned at all) and asked if I had a spell I could lend him. I was taken aback, because I figured he would have tons to use of his own. Delightedly, though, Windi got to cookin'.

Flip, flip, flip through my Urban Book of Shadows. Lemme see...this one should work.

What you need:

1 tbsp kava kava root ground
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp sea salt
2 cups of water
3 drops of ylang ylang oil
1 red candle
1 square of red cloth approx. 5"x5"
1 small carrot
1 rose quartz
Red thread

Boil water in a pan, doesn't matter if you cook in it or not. Add kava kava, cinnamon, salt, and oil. Light your candle. Drop the stone and the carrot in after everything has had a chance to mix well.

Spend a few minutes thinking really dirty thoughts about the object of your affection. Now say the words, "I don't care when, I don't care how, Bring me {say their name}, and make them give it to me now!"

Take your concoction off the heat, let it cool, then fish out the carrot and the quartz. Place both of them in the cloth (You can cut the carrot so it fits if you need to, but this might bring harm to a VERY important part of their anatomy!) Tie up the bundle with the thread, and place under your pillow or wherever it is you are hoping or expecting to get the booty.

Satyr's results occured within 24 hours, so it certainly can't hurt to try. This spell can be used as long as there is a penis involved somewhere. If there isn't, may I suggest replacing the carrot with a pomegranate? Anyway, good luck.

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