On February 25th, 2001, I had the
best dream I ever had.
The
muse came in the
night, and left me with a fully-formed, standalone
joke, the first one I'd ever created.
I immediately woke my wife and told her the joke, and she couldn't believe how bad it
was-others I've told it to tell me that it is definitely the
worst joke they've ever
heard- nevertheless, I am still proud of it, probably in the same way that all parents
unconditionally love their kids. A year has passed, and this joke can now be revealed:
So,anyway- Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt get married. They decide to stay in a
log-cabin in the hills to get away from the crowds, and get some fishing in at the same
time.
On arriving, Brad surprises Jennifer by pulling out a brunette wig; her
blonde tresses are too well known, he explains, and the wig will help to keep them
incognito.
They grab their fishing gear and hit the river- no sooner have they cast
their lines when up screeches a 4x4; a grim faced State Trooper emerges,addresses
Brad, and lets them know that there's an escaped maniac on the loose. He's already
dismembered one unlucky camper further upriver; should they pull any pieces from the
water, he'd sure be obliged if they'd keep them until he returns.
Brad casts out; no
sooner has the hook hit the water than he feels a tug- reeling in, they are shocked to find
a human ear on the end of the line- but heeding what the Trooper said, they keep the
ear for his perusal.
It's Jen's turn to cast out- and sure enough, she's hardly done
so when the line goes under- reeling in, she and Brad are amazed to see a human finger
dangling off the end- however, they overcome their squeamishness enough to set the finger
aside for the Trooper to use as evidence.
Some time passes; their store of dismembered
body parts has grown, when they hear the screech of tires behind them- it's their friend the
State Trooper, returned to check on them. He's pleased to see they've collected so many
bits- it'll help to identify the unlucky victim of the maniac, he explains.
Having a
strong stomach, he roots through their collection absent-mindedly; catching sight of
Jennifer, he grins, winks and asks cheekily:
"Hey, little lady- you caught any
cocks?"
At this, Brad whirls on him in a flash, anger rising, and says:
"No, you
idiot, it's Jennifer Aniston in a brunette wig!!".
There...I
feel...better now...