Oh, god...it was horrible! There were bodies everywhere, some living, some dead...some worse. There must've been thousands of them, clad in geek memorabilia, angry fists held to the skies as they screamed "WHERE'S EDB DAMNIT!!!"

And the smell...Oh dear lord, the smell...

There was this guy there, his name was blowJoe or somethin'...and he kept talking about thermonuclear warfare, against his own countrymen...they were preaching mass genocide!

And the getting to know you discussions...I wish I had a machinegun sO I coUlD jUst GUN THEM ALL DOWN RIGHT THERE!!!! ARGHHHH I WANNA BE IN A CULT!!! I TRIED ALL MY LIFE, BUT THEY JUST WOULDNT LET ME IN D00D, THEY KEPT TALKING ABOUT MY CHICKENWINGS BEING OFF TOPIC!?!?! SSSNNNRRIIIISSNNNNRUUUUB!!!

But anyways, I disgress...

Originally, I came because I heard there were going to be live, petrified, nude Natalie Portman lookalikes recruiting for the soy army.

....

I was sorely disappointed.

The Real Story:

We drank tea, talked and MADE FUN OF PEOPLE WHO WEREN'T THERE BECAUSE WE'RE ALL COWARDS, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

no, I'm just joking...