We were supposed to go to the Liberty Science Center on Friday. Unfortunately, getting up after noon wasn't all that conducive to such an endeavour, and so that particular outing has been postponed. I believe the 21st will be given over to:
  • going to New Hope, PA
  • obtaining several pumpkins
  • staying as far away from this computer as possible

Whatever happens, we've got to be home in time for Iron Chef!

So, I just wrote a 7 page long email in 9 point times at 1280x1024 in outlook....full screen.. god knows how long that's gonna look on "her" screen...
What on earth would I do this for? oh... my first love contacted me from out of no where lastnight, I havent heard from her in 10 months, and before that it had been over a year]...
Anyways, so besides that I am working my ass of doing a crafts fair at UNM. and it's finally friday, and all my friends are at Pearl Jam tonight, I'm not going because as i put it in my long ass email, I would want to set everyone there on fire...PJ included....I dont have much to say, as busy as I have been, it's been a pretty boring day... maybe tomarrow will be better?
I hate working in a hospital. I've had the same rounds for three days, and it hasn't been the happy, cute wards in the hospital. I've had really sick old people, Intensive Care Units and asthmatics. Every day I smell shit, piss, disinfectant and death creeping down the hallways. I try to ignore the moans and cries from the ill and dying as I do my job, routinely enterting the bar code numbers from special medical equipment into my little handheld computer. When you have the same route everyday, it gets a little harder to convince yourself that the woman hooked up on all sorts of life support equipment made a miraculous recovery during the night and went home and that's why someone else is in her room. It's even harder to do once you've seen them wheel someone out with a sheet over their faces. Not even looking at obnoxious minor celebrities weak and helpless is any fun.

My newly shaved head seems to have caused me to rank even lower in the hospital caste system, today an LVN (Licensed Vocational Nurse) was incredibly snotty as I took the charge cards from flip file as I do at every Nurse's Station on my route she snarled, "I already pulled those. I don't want the ones going out that have less than three charges on them" I apologized and told her that it was our policy to pull the charge cards daily and she told me, "not here you don't", I said, "I'm sorry" and mentally I added "Sorry you went to trade school instead of charm school". I hate being patronized. One of the interns started to flirt with me when I was taking my morning break and eating oatmeal, but his interest seemed to wane once he discovered I had a brain. I suppose with the shaved head and that hideous smock they force us to wear, he assumed I was some sort of roughneck B-Boy. I just hate to ruin people's twisted fantasies.

At lunch I went over to the Beverly Center. The mall wasn't aging well, but they've gone on this remodeling jag that makes it terribly interesting. It's sort of fun to see the bolts and wires beneath that old eighties interior decor they've banished. I window shopped at all the trendy stores. I thought the clothes in Traffic and the Dolce & Gabbana Store were horrible and gaudy, although I was pleasantly surprised by the muted tones of the stuff at United Colors of Benetton. I went into Bang & Olafson for a while and sat on an ultra-thin couch watching an ultra-thin supermodel on an ultra-thin television. The whole place was so terribly minimalist, and dare I say, anorexic that I felt bloated and huge. I went into the Warner Bros. store and played with the sorting hat keychain, I chuckled as Griffindor came up; I'm definitely a Ravenclaw or a Slytherin.

I'm starting to hate Marc. If he were pleasant or tried to clean or cook or did something, I don't think I'd mind his couchwarming so much, but he does nothing. He hasn't looked for a job. When I come home after a horrible day of work, he's still there, doing nothing. Once he was asleep. I wanted to kick him. He told me that I didn't appreciate him. I asked him what there was to appreciate? He's not kind to me, he doesn't cook, doesn't clean, doesn't work, doesn't do anything but take up space and eat up my food and complain about being hungry. He's not even sleeping with me, although the thought of ever being touched by that particular green-haired master of hystrionics is nearly enough to send my stomach into instant convulsions. Yesterday he ate an entire jar of peanut butter. I don't have any bread. How did he eat an entire jar of peanut butter?


I need to pack my suitcase, throw some games on my laptop and find my passport. I'm off to San Francisco in 4 hours.

If you're in SF, and fancy a drink next week, mail me at blowdart@hotmail.com. Unless you're you're a mad axe murderer.

So for the next week, you're going to have tourist day logs. Won't that be exciting?

17:00, some silly American West Coast time zone

San Francisco Airport sucks. You collect your baggage before passing through immigration, which is all of about 25 metres away from the baggage collection area. This leads to massive log jams, and 1.5 hours of queuing, with Italians trying to push past. 2 old, fat Italian women pushed right to the front, and as I was leaving the airport, customs had their bags wide open, with everything out. Now thats justice!

Also swang an upgrade to First Class. That was fun, Virgin allow you to eat whenever you want, give massages and have a bar. And I could stretch out my 5"11' frame, and not touch the seat in front. Thats a nice way to fly.

Of course, now I just want to sleep, my body says it's midnight. We'll see.

Today's annoyance. Blatent copyright theft by a level 10 noder. And no responses to gentle prods that he should get the nodes nuked that I sent last night. More annoying, they are getting high reps, and cools. *spit*

I'm grateful that one of this log's previous entrants was nowhere near my grandmother's hospital. She underwent quadruple by-pass surgery yesterday and is recovering well. Sure, people's lives often end in hospitals. Lives are also begun, saved, and the physical quality improved there as well. It's all a matter of perspective...

Attitude matters, and Grandma's is super. She spent the last several years since Grandpa's passing finally doing some of the things of which she's always dreamed. She's done some travelling, taken different classes, made wonderful friends, discovered (quite skillfully, I'll add) the internet, and has been a valued docent at one of the museums where she lives. There's so much more she wants to do. Thank goodness she will have the opportunity to keep exploring, growing, learning and spreading her love.

Besides, she still has a great-grandson, another on the way and their daddy to meet. I can't wait!
Tonight at lame coffeehouse (although I am hard pressed to find a cool coffeehouse on a Friday night) I helped my girlfriend grade tests. She teaches high school English to mainly freshmen with a single senior level class that deals exclusively with British literature. I was grading freshman vocabulary tests. Maybe I am a bit old for this. I graduated from high school a little over ten years ago so maybe I'm just a moldering dinosaur but the average result of one of these tests was right around 20%. It was depressing and frustrating. I have grave doubts about the future of language.

To calm me down, my girlfriend, who is exposed to a truck load of mediocrity on a daily basis, and I had a long conversation about the history of the decline of civilization. We both agreed that people (especially those in the line of education have been saying that this generation will be the ruin of us all since there was any civilization to speak of. I feel better but at the same time really pathetic for falling into the trap of being the cranky old fart doomsaying kids because they don't like to study. I don't like to study. Conclusion: the sky is not falling. Whew.

Another topic of this conversation was about the strangeness of the elderly. It fascinates me how some people really bloom in their late decade on the planet. Maybe it has something to do with releasing yourself from the obligation to please other people or maybe it's just the brain slowing turning into cream cheese. Anyway, we both decided that we want to be old someday and that we would try to get there together. Yes, kids, we are the sappiest couple in the world. I don't care.

A more disturbing habit of the elderly is that weird oral fixation that many old folks seem to have on the inside of their own mouthes. We solved this one by deciding that old people have some really yummy thing in their mouthes that we don't know about. This is fine until you start adding Nummy, Nummy, Nummy sounds over their mouth motions. Then it is too icky to think about anymore.

I also went to a high school homecoming football game but it was just weird. Sitting on the bleachers and freezing my skinny behind off are not on my to do list.

I also had a class today but you can read about that in some nodes.

I'm very excited to say that after clicking through my hard links that only a handful of were nodes made by Webster 1913. Go team! We are truly starting to get there! Yes, I am a cheeseball.

I don't know what's wrong with me today.

I can't settle to anything.
I burnt the dinner.
Out of sorts
Out of...
I don't know.

I don't know what's wrong with me today.

I'm edgy and snappish.
I'm surly.
Out of phase
Out of...

I wish I knew what's wrong with me today.

It's as though there's been a disaster.
I'm worried.
Out of ideas
Out of...

I wish I knew...
I wish...
Out of place
Out of joint
Out of time

I hope I feel better tomorrow.

10:26 bst

Woke up this morning to a good start (hugs and kisses with IainB) but still nervous about whether or not our Idlewild tickets will arrive, bad sign that they've not arrived as the gig is tonight.

As staying at mum's house phoned Iain's house to see if any sign of tickets.
Nope! Iain's little sister Marion got to say "oh dear" though... think she thinks it's funny.. *grrrrr...*.

10:38 bst

Iain phoned wayahead (www.tickets-online.co.uk), tickets have been reported as lost or stolen.. anyone who arrives with our tickets will be arrested (ooh err..) and we get in with Iain's switch card and order number, wahey!

10:45 bst (this WU is taking forever to write isn't it?)

So another weekend at the Barrowlands.. Live Music! Iain and I went to see Placebo last week.

Was getting worried that we'd be spending the weekend in watching tv... and that my brother would never get his 20th birthday present from Iain and me (my brother, another who almost missed out on the concert).

00:23 bst

Am back from the gig... it rocked something special... "And as the mosh pit opened out in front of us, I prayed to god for my life."

Tinkered with my Nokia 9110 again today. Tried out its Nokia ACP-9X charger with my previous Nokia 7110. It works. I hope there are no ill effects though.

I'm still in the throes of upgrading between that Nokia 7110 to Nokia 9110. I found that the upgrade is downgrade in some parts, such as vibrate mode. Yep, the Nokia 9110 has no vibrate mode. Rationalizing, I say not much loss, since that Nokia 7110 vibrate mode startle by tickling me much more than a discreet beep. More about the upgrade experience later.

Last night went slumming at non-fraternity parties. Which is always an interesting experience, because the two types are very, shall we say, distinct.

What might strike some of the noders here as strange is that the only time one tastes keg beer, it's at house parties; yes, there are no kegs in fraternity houses anymore at the University.

So, I was treated to a cold keg of Coor's Light, and afterwards, a cold keg of Killian's. A quote-unquote "Coors theme party", since they're both distributed by the same company.

Anyways, saw an incredibly banal ska band called Donkey Punch play, which was sorta fun. The music and stage presence was fantastic, although anything positive they had going for them was killed by their lyrical topics:

C'mon! Good ska and punk music has a social conscience, not just an obsession with pop culture.

And today is the day of the cross-state rivalry, between Michigan State University and my own alma matter, University of Michigan. So the campus is a buzz of excitement; the Ann Arbor fans are smelling blood already.


back | days | forth

16:15 BST

yay for steam!

Something really weird happened while I was unpacking the steamer to strip some wallpaper. I found my old vectrex inlay cards. It was really weird because my family and I have been searching for these cards for ages!

I was worrying for a long time about the state of the walls in my bedroom - I didn't trust the previous owners at all. I had thought that they had papered over any cracks or mould in the bedroom. Well, I was wrong. From what I have uncovered so far, my walls are OK.

Get this guy to a pub, stat!

I'm almost excited about getting back to work; masukomi's request for perl coders seemed to come at precisely the right time to reignite my interest in all things hackish. I have made a simple decision; I will no longer wait for managerial approval before doing anything. You see, any little thing I wanted to do I would run past my project leader, which he would promptly refuse. Well, now I will just spend the two or three hours needed to make a cgi perl build watcher script (for example) and to hell with the silly NT vs. Linux politics.

Wow, I am almost looking forward to getting back there... wow.

* Dizzy goes hot and cold all over...

Exercise log:
  • Situps - 0
  • Pushups - 0
  • Side kicks - 0

Insomnia: None. I forcefully knocked myself out with Absinthe, marijuana, and salvia. OK, I went to a party last night and got drunk instead of following my exercise plan. Sue me.

On the other hand, a cute girl that I like was at the party too, and she was flirting with me. She's coming with me when I get my tongue pierced tonight. I also had a rather bizzare dream about her.

No big drug cocktail for me, at least not tonight. I'm not going to trip my ass off with a new tongue piercing. I'd wind up wondering why my tongue was all swollen, and then start believing that aliens had implanted little baby alien fetuses in my tongue, and do something silly like hack it off with a knife.

Everything dates are so funky. This is friday - I get to Auburn after driving 4 hours partially through homecoming traffic, partially going 110 on the open road... No ticket, I didn't even see a cop save for one instance where he was driving 70 in a 70 and leading a field of cars. This couldn't be. I couldn't afford to get pulled over due to the substances in my trunk, but I also couldn't afford to be late. After some dodging I got to the front, side to side with the copcar. Going seventy... seventy one... seventy two... sevety-five.

Eventually, the cop was out of sight and I moved back up to 100mph. At sbout seven, I found Jason's doorm, housing him and Chris, the latter was watching the shining. Jason called up Brett and we decided to head over to his place before the Basketball demo. At Brett's we met Jessica and some other kids from high school (Ethan, Roobie, etc.) They chipped in to procure an eigth of KB each, then we went to the demo... it was fairly lame, and we headed out so Chris could buy some cheap cigars. After some more back and fourth and Simpsons episode, we went over to Brett's for good. I was more or less ridiculed for quitting, but didn't let it get to me. An hour or so and a few beers later, it was just Jason, Chris, Jessica and me. After talking of quitting and getting a guilt trip from all of them for not smoking with them, I took one last hit. I felt like complete shit afterwards, going against my commitment, etc so I got fairly smashed. Considerin the situation at hand, that wouldn't have been a waste... but then skimmies started passing through. Jason was clear enough to hold conversations, but I was way past that, forcing me to focus to even make half-intelligent comments. Maybe I'll see them tonight, who knows... Jessica's 200 pound brother came through, Brett obtained a scale and slit up an eight-ball between himself and three friends. We got back in around two and started watching Baseketball before I passed out.

Now it is saturday, the homecoming game is tonight... I know I'm staying sober, still feel like I was hit by a load of bricks from last night.

As I lay in bed right now... laptop in lap... I realize something profound. I don't want to get up. I want to just stay here in my warm bed. But then I realize in order for me to see my boyfriend again, I'll need to get up. I must get up. I MUST. Oh well. That was my motovational thinking for the day. Maybe I will go to Half Moon Bay and visit the love of my life. Maybe.

OK, who the HELL downvotes a bloody daylog? Come ON people! What is the point of it? You might at least as well /msg about why you think my life sucks so much.

Today is one of those days when you realize that things fall together. I woke up feeling like shit, having to take the PSATs at 8am. I go there and there's all my friends, a real sense of belonging. The test was easy and afterwords I was talking to people again. My dad came to pick me up and I managed to trip over some girl, it didn't matter, I didn't care.

At home I had to do some cleaning, but afterwords I went to Garden China with some friends. Some of them I really hadn't talked to since elementary school when I was a real asshole and a half, I think they noticed that I had changed. Again, there I am, talking with people and its falling into place, we talk of nightmares, lesbians, and fortune cookies. My fortune was that I was planning something imortant with wide rammifications which got a laugh due to my TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION shirt. My friend Matt had conflicting fortunes, one told him to show off, the other told him to be modest. Afterwords we split up.

Ramsey, matt, Faga and I went to Faga's house and did nothing. Then we walked to ramsey's. Along the way we find a bottle of collogne with which ramsey proceeds to squirt all over me, he will pay for that someday.

I think the most insightful thing that happened today is something which mike said, "It's hard to be an atheist, people act like its the easy way out, but its hard as shit, your life has no meaning until you give it one." I had to agree with him on that, being atheist is difficult, but it makes sense to me, not like I can change what makes sense.

So here I am, I smell like perfume and I'm sitting in my big red Cartwright chair contemplating big plans, of which you are sure to know soon enough.

After yesterday's party at my university (UAB), I got some much needed sleep (I'm a koala, after all :).

Some aussie girl chatted with me on ICQ; that's the second I get, must be my nick. Also got a message from an LA guy, deadfish, who I hadn't meet in ages.

Well, after that some work on our massive multiplayer AD&D experience.

And now, the main event in Spain. FC Barcelona vs Real Madrid, which I guess is the biggest soccer match around. This year, Luis Figo, former Barcelona star, is wearing Real Madrid's white, and you wouldn't believe the reaction from the crowd everytime he comes near the ball.

It's 1-0 (Luis Enrique, curiously an ex-Real Madrid player), for now, and FC Barcelona's coach has already changed a striker (Dani) for a defender (Frank de Boer).

Now it's 2-0, as Simao has scored. Simao is portuguese, same as Figo, and was bought just to cover his position. Looks like it has worked.

Well, the match has ended 2-0. I think I'll go to bed real soon.

I've been busy with wanting to create a personal website. Because of this, my bed is cluttered with stacks upon stacks of old photographs that I haven't seen in years. It's so strange. I picked up this picture of me taken for junior high or high school, I have no idea exactly when, and I don't remember ever seeing it. I look so sad. My heart went out to this image in the picture, this image of myself, and I felt so bad and I wanted to reach out and give myself a hug. I wanted to reach out and tell her it's okay. I wanted to just make it all better. Her eyes, my eyes.

Phooey. I wanted to write a happy or funny node yesterday. Instead, I just sat and sat, and nothing came to mind. Am I a depressing person?! I didn't think so. I've been pretty damn happy as of late. Maybe I'm just dramatic.

Played more pool last night. I've gotten to the point where I'm not embarrassed to play, because I actually win sometimes and it's a ton of fun. Now I just need to find somewhere to play Go.


I've just been stuck on e2 all night. Reading so many sad nodes. I'm so emotional tonight. I don't know why. I told him I wasn't up to doing anything, and so he left. But I didn't want him to leave, because now I'm all alone and emotional and reading all these goddamn sad nodes that make me love you all. I love you all and I wish I could take the pain away.
ailie sent me a cd! Yay! I can't wait to listen to it. I definitely need my own CD burner. I used to love making mix tapes, but not many of my friends listen to cassettes anymore.

ailie rocks.

I'm going to see the new "Bedazzled" on Wednesday, which is a day after our year-and-a-half anniversary. I saw the original film in my honors film criticism class. It was really bizarre, and I wanted to like it more than I actually did. The psychedelia kept interfering with the storyline. I expect this version to be more facile but also more entertaining, so we'll see. And I have a dilemma!

Should my Halloween costume be Elizabeth Hurley as the Devil, or should it be Gwynn from Sluggy Freelance??? VOTE NOW!

Um, hm. Two demonic chicks? That's a bit disturbing. Though you could make the case for a Hurley/Faustian (okay, I can't believe I just said that) devil as actually being like the demons in some Buddhist and other temptation stories: not actually a force of evil. Instead, as a catalyst to bring the tempted to the crossroads. ... Gwynn? Well, it's not her fault she's possessed! P. S.: I bear no resemblance whatsoever to either one of 'em, except for being a brunette.
Today was homecoming, where lots of students battle each other to sell food to lots of people, everyone always runs out of soda, you can shop 'til you drop at the garage sale (called a "shoppe"), and you might also see some football. I came late, I didn't care. All I did was eat. I didn't try to scale the climbing wall or go on the moonbounce, and I wasn't paying attention to the game at all, I missed half-time, which was probably really lame anyway. Al Gore was there. Sigh. His son is the starting center on the football team, so Gore comes by for a lot of the games. (When he's not busy running the Internet (No, I'm never going to let that die! (No matter what! (Ooo! nested sidenotes!) ) ) ) Kids were going up to him and getting autographs. I didn't really want to look at him, but my mother decided to go up to him. (She had just recently decided to vote for Nader, too) So, we now have a signed copy of one of the school newspapers (The comedic one, not the really lame one) with Al Gore's signature within the title of the paper. (I just realized that there is a box at the top right of the page, above the title, where it has a quote from George Bush saying something about how the "undecideds", like those in an election, could certainly "go either way." I'll look that up, because I think there's a node with Bush quotes somewhere around here.) The top headline is a really bad pun about the school's dress code (which is really lame). Whee! Did I mention that I saw a secret service man walking around with something stuck to his heel? It's good to know that these agents don't let themselves be distracted by things like that. Or maybe it's bad that he wasn't very observant at all. I don't know...
I got a hamster wheel at the "shoppe"; I don't own a hamster, and I don't plan to.
My Rubik's cube is getting really faded. I hear they make ones that use plastic tiles for the colors, so that there are no stickers to rub off. Anyone know where I can find one?

Ok, now I'm back. I had to stop noding to go investigate our kitchen. We think a racoon was eating the cat food just now. My sister saw something large that ran out the cat door when she came in. It might've been a cat, but the only one not accounted for (Perl) is really small, and why would she run away? What an odd night.

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