I am feeling awfully tired.

In the last two weeks I've had three people who wanted referral to hospice, then the next day refused hospice, then I did home health paperwork, then they refused that. Oh, and then one of them is in hospice. I grieve anyhow even when it's someone in their nineties and well, my brain knows people die. Duh. My stupid heart grieves anyhow.

I had a patient race into clinic once saying, "Am I going to DIE?"

I looked at him and said. "Yes."

He calmed down and said, "No, I meant am I going to die NOW?"

I said, "How the heck would I know? I don't know the story yet. You don't look like you're dying."

He admitted that it was funny. He was not dying immanently.

I have two people with bad cancer, another in hospice, one who I did a home visit on yesterday and then one who has whirled around from hospital to home to clinic to home to hospital to nursing home in the space of 12 days. This person thinks it's been three days, so I don't know if their memory will recover. Maybe and maybe not. I've been threatening to call adult protective services if I have to. You can be dreadfully smart and not safe home alone.

Anyhow, we will see about Iron Noder. I may get too tired. Hugs, all.