Strange Days, indeed. Went to the orthopedic surgeon today (second opinion) and got some pretty devastating news. I have chrondomalacia patella, that's nothing new, but apparently my knees are in such bad shape, he told me that if I was 60 years old, he'd recommend knee replacement surgery. Egads! He told me some other things too, but the main thing I need to do is lose still more weight.

Now, I'd lost 30-40 pounds a year ago, and have been maintaining that loss. And have recently begun to lose more, thought I had about 15-20 to go to become a normal, healthy weight. And to hear this just threw me. I really wasn't expecting to hear something that dire. I freaked out, and that afternoon immediately got sick with some strange flu. Nausea, multiple bathroom visits, etc., etc.

At first I was very upset - you don't shed that much weight in a few weeks, it takes a few months. And at first I panicked. But then I realized how happy I was on vacation, doing some exercise every day, how good it made me feel. And I just need to continue the same and count calories. The first week would be the worst, but after that, it would be much easier.

The whole thing can be a catalyst for my eating disorder to take control of my life, or I can view it as intervention to save myself from becoming disabled. That is how I choose to view it.