"The piglets are coming! The
piglets are coming!"
Those were the last words the Big Bad Wolf ever heard his brother, the Not-So-Bad Wolf say. For the three little
pigs had had enough of the Big Bad Wolf's ways. It was time to even the score.
As
the three little pigs approached the cottage of the Big Bad Wolf, they
squealed in delight for this time it was they who could smell
fear, the fear of the wolf!
Finally, the moment the pigs had been waiting for had arrived. After years of careful calculation and planning, they were finally going to get their
revenge.
The
Big Bad Wolf trembled in anticipation. He had heard the talk around town, he knew the little pigs had not forgotten his
evilness. They had been working at the local
Walmart, earning money and slowly stockpiling their weapons. It was rumored that they had acquired enough ammunition to destroy all of
New York City, yet not until this very moment had the wolf taken them seriously.
He could hear the jingle of the bullets on the pigs' ammo belts with each step they took. The wolf and his brother ran into their cottage and locked the door.
The piglets snorted at the wolves' pathetic attempt at escape. When they reached the cottage the youngest pig yelled, 'Open the door, or I'll aim and I'll shoot til I blow your house up!'. The wolves were so scared they couldn't move an inch. The oldest piggie yelled, 'Open the door, or I'll aim and I'll shoot til I blow your house up!' Yet still the Big Bad Wolf could not move. Finally the third piggie yelled, 'Open the door or I'll blow your
mother trucking head off!'
Just as the wolves were about to give up all hope of survival they heard the pigs arguing amongst themselves.
"No, I'm going to shoot him!"
"No, I am!"
"You always get to do everything! I'm doing it!"
Suddenly all three pigs were rolling around the ground, fighting. A shot was fired and when the Big Bad Wolf looked out the window he could not believe his eyes! Standing over the three little pigs was
Little Red Riding Hood, with a
shotgun.
The three little pigs had not heard her approach. The door to the cottage opened and out strutted the Big Bad Wolf.
"So, you foolish little pigs think you can defeat me, the Big Bad Wolf, eh?" he said. "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but ever since I ate
Red the first time, she's been coming back for more every day, and it looks like you're the ones that are going to end up in hot water this time, little piglets!"
"Not so fast, brother of mine!" snarled Big Bad's brother.
When Big Bad turned to face his brother he saw the evil gleam in his eye.
"You may have eaten her everyday for the last two months, but I do it better, and Red is mine. We're gonna start a
farm, with lots of little pigs, and
sheep and even some cows!" And with that The Not-So-Bad wolf shot his brother in the chest.
Little Red Riding Hood and The Not-So-Bad Wolf lived happily ever after, and they ate
bacon and
hameveryday for the next two months.