once upon a time, not too long ago, i had a friend who lived in a part of town that was ostensibly a nice, middle class part of town, but to the locals, it was just a really stupid place to live, especially if you had kids. but anyway, my
compatriot and i were watching action movies and eating
twinkies and
goofing around like teenagers who have eaten too much sugar are wont to do, when suddenly: "ooh! quick it's an action scene! i can hear it! lemme up!" no, actually, that wasn't an action scene, that was a love scene featuring
Arnold Schwartzenegger. and then the light begins to dawn on us as the *thwap*plink* gets a little closer...holy shit! there's some loon out there shooting at the house! the entire
episode might have lasted forty-five seconds. a whole lot of things can go through your head in that time, even when it's cut down to thirty, because you're an idiot for the first fifteen. most notable, besides the obvious, "
oh my god, i'm going to die!", was probably a line from an
Andy Fairley song called "Ghost": "I had so much to offer and so much to say, but i pushed the wrong button and got in their way". i don't think i got off the floor for a good six minutes after that. then i looked at her, and she looked at me. and i said, "dude, you're sitting on the twinkies." mostly because at that moment there was nothing else to say. i could not form any other
coherent sentences. then we broke out in gales of
post-traumatic hysterical laughter, and like the hyper teens we were, started winging "ass-twinkies" at each other through the rest of the movie.
really, there was nothing else we could have done. it was so surreal that we couldn't process it, and returned to semi-standard behaviour for two hyper fourteen year old geeks.