Usually, a nice trick performed by institutions of higher learning to wring more money out of po' college students. Eating on the meal plan means you pay too much for crappy food served only at times most inconvenient for hard-working, dope-smoking college students. At Duke University, the freshmen have it worse than the rest: their meal plan is required, and meals are restricted to one campus eatery.

Compelling reasons to purchase a student meal plan.

In no particular order:

  • You won't need to worry about where your next meal is coming from.
  • If you want to eat well, you'll get more variety at the dining hall than you can probably scrape together in your dorm room.
  • If you don't want to eat well, it's burgers every night and pizza every day!
  • There's almost no better way to get enough fruits and veggies during your undergraduate life.
  • There's almost no better way to get enough fried clam strips and chicken patties during your undergraduate life.
  • You can make fewer trips to the supermarket.
  • You can use the dining hall AS a supermarket.
  • You won't need to learn vital cooking skills, delaying any form of entry into the real world for another four years.
  • You will need to learn vital spoiled-food spotting skills, saving you valuable food poisoning down time should you become a poor graduate student.
  • You can eat a plate of nothing but three pounds of grated cheddar cheese.
  • So can your lactose intolerant roommate!
  • No one likes scurvy, and dining halls have orange juice.
  • Everyone likes pizza, and dining halls have pepperoni.
  • It will teach you just how much you appreciate home-cooked meals, making trips home to see your annoying family palatable by virtue of looking forward to real food.
  • It will, just maybe, teach you something about making smart food decisions later in life that will save you from eating McDonalds three times a day for two years once you graduate.

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