The College Student
is a curious creature indeed. S/he comes in many flavors, ranging from the common Dorm Rat
to the Hippie Throwback
, and every flavor in between. Here are a few examples of the more prevalent species:
Party Animal: The distinguishing characteristic of this breed is an incredible tolerance for the poison 'alcohol'. This _near_ immunity is acquired through repeated exposure, often in large social gatherings. The Party Animal can also be identified by it's mating call, sounding much like the words, 'Show us your tits!'
CompSci Gopher: This creature rarely sees the light of day. In fact, most of it's time is spent staring at a box and pounding on a board of some sort. The diet of the CompSci Gopher varies widely, from Pringles to Ho-Ho's to Pepsi. One rather recent development is the increase of the female population of the species, due to forces unknown to this journalist.
Jesus Freak: A frightening creature indeed. It has been known to assault other creatures with small pieces of paper, often for no apparent reason. In fact, the entire existence of the Jesus Freak is an exercise of lack of reason. One odd piece of information: the Jesus Freak is the only known creature to undergo a _weekly_ migration.
Of course, this is a largely incomplete spotting guide. If you have any other specimens you'd like to share, or tips on spotting, finding, or trapping creatures in the College Student family, feel free to submit your ideas.