Making sexual advances
. Its not a trait
everyone is instantly born
with. For some, maybe, but for others it takes time
, and most likely, a lot of face
While some men argue that the most successful types of sexual advances require the use of whistling, staring, and calling out sexually-explict phrases like "Damn! You'sa fine mothafucka!" or "Hey baby-doll, do fries come with that shake?", others say touching has a large part in the sexual advance.
However, be careful. If calling out sexually-explict phrases to the wrong woman doesn't get you smacked, attaching your hand to her butt suddenly will.
More stylish forms of the sexual advance come from the Johnny Bravo approach (tall greased hair and dark sunglasses required) where the use of "Whoa!", "Hey there, hot mama" and "Jinkies!" are sure to get the hottest women to melt at your feet.
Of course, the forever popular Austin Powers routine is quickly becoming trendy. In order to take full advantage of this maneuver, you must
A. Have a serious liking for 60's clothing
B. Not be afraid to use the word "baby" as frequently as teenage cheerleaders use the word "like" (ex. "Oh ma gawd, she is, like, sooo gross!")
C. Not see a dentist for a good couple of years to get that bad dental hygeine (which I've noticed a group of people, also known as computer geeks, have started to bring back as a trend)
D. Start telling everyone you know to "behave" even though they might be doing so at the time.
So, never fear, you hapless whining loser. You too can find the perfect lady friend for you if you become a master of the sexual advances.