Findings:
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
- Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
- He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How He Didn't Understand Her Whichever
- The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
- She was coming out as he was going in.
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
- I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask.
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- At least he was gentle
- He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
- It's not so much that I like him as a person God, but as a boy he's very handsome
- Charles Bridgeman
- The Old Man's Comforts and How He Gained Them
- It was 1992. He smiled.
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- This wasn't how it was supposed to be
- all i ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- As if he knew that words were how I kissed
- he listened so well, he was still curious.
- How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
- How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
- She grew a little older, while he was telling her
- When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
- It was late when he came home; it woke you up
- More than he was willing to give
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- Tom, He was a Piper's Son
- man when you are telling me how it was
- Let's shoot Cupid, see how he likes it
- How was the Bible canonized?
- WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
- Long and lean, he was a sex machine, and he schooled every girl in town
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- How Eulenspiegel announced he wanted to fly
- He stretched out his arms but she was not there
- How America was mapped
- How the Earth was destroyed
- The Good Gardener (On How He Fell)
- The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- I married him because he was not mean
- When daddy was the handsome prince
- Shaymus is older than I thought he was
- He taught me how to smoke
- Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
- Running a BBS
- He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
- He Was a Crook
- The Lover Showeth How He Is Forsaken of Such as He Sometime Enjoyed
- He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
- Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
- How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- All he left her was alone
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
- As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
- And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
- How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
- This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
- A half-man, half-monstertruck ex-CIA vampire must save the world the only way he knows how: with ROCK
- He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
- No matter how wise an old sheep, he can't teach a fish how to polevault
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
- For one thing, he was sure his granny would never have used smack.
- How Kissing Was Discovered
- The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
- How was your trip to London, Dan?
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- How the West Was Won
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
- How to tell when a journalist has no idea what they're talking about
- How to play the harmonica
- How to determine whether a number is divisible by 0
- How to take care of candles
- How to hypnotize a chicken
- How to keep cars together in heavy traffic
- How to build a theft-proof lawn gnome
- Frosting a cake
- Opening a command prompt in Windows
- How to crash a bike
- How to get started with 3D computer graphics
- Blessing a seismograph
- How to Sell Sex Stories
- How the Waldensian Heretics avoided detection
- Collecting a clean catch urine
- How to test if a knife is sharp
- How I invented Anna and made her a character in all my stories
- How to catch a bat
- How to make war
- Creating a fairly powerful static discharge in your bathtub
- How to defeat a robot tank
- How to read ECU fault codes from some GM cars
- Removing a stripped screw
- How to use Windows regularly without hating it (much) : part two
- How to become a real ghostbuster
- Eero Mäntyranta
- How to make electroclash
- How Strange, Innocence
- How to make LSD from Fosters Beer
- The trouble with love is, it doesn't care how fast you fall
- You'll never know how much you've changed me
- He said 'tentacle porn', so I stuck my dick in a toaster and went from there
- Going to the movies in Thailand
- How To Become a Mighty Pirate
- mad he (user)
- How to: Mini Golf First Date
- For my father, in the event he finds me
- How to draw a 4-dimensional object, when you're limited to 3 dimensions
- he kissed me for a year and a half
- How did physics change as a result of the making and use of the atomic bomb?
- What is this useless broken wooden boy? He is saying stupid things, he is lurching!
- How to install Linux for the total n00b
- How to outrun the cops
- He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
- How do I submit a writeup of my own?
- He dreams between yesterdays, Cliff’s Hand Bag and Fade away blue
- How do you access E2? (e2poll)
- Lightning is not God's Fury, For He Hath None
- How to prevent records from warping
- and slowly, stealthily, and half sideways looking, he placed the loaded musket’s end against the door.
- How to solve any Rubik-like puzzle
- How to get YouTube hits
- How naked are we going to get?
- what he carried from here to Okinawa
- How To Help Host Your Mother-In-Law's Surprise 80th Birthday Party
- How to unclip a bra with one hand
- anyone lived in a pretty how town
- How to impress The Man
- How many infinities are there?
- How to say "I love you"
- How can you still breathe?
- How much does Milliways really cost?
- how Wiener found his way home
- How the Sphere encouraged me in a Vision
- My first comet
- how to breathe
- how to turn a dorm room into a swimming pool
- The Walrus was Paul
- How Long is a Chinaman
- When you dream the end of the world, how does it happen?
- Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
- How much is a pint of milk?
- I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
- Fixing a water damaged cell phone
- I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
- How to make a left turn in LA
- Now it was personal
- How I envision my first day of college
- There once was a chicken named Alice
- How to move something faster than the speed of light
- November 4, 1995
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