Ah, as elsewhere, a member of the squash family finds itself press ganged by lonely men into a sex toy. Sigh!
Oh well. Let them think what they will. On to food.
Although there are many types of cucumber, the most common ones in my part of the world are the thicker-skinned smooth cucumber and the seedless English cucumber, plus smaller thick-skinned pickling cucumbers in the fall. Be careful of the thicker-skinned smooth ones; they are often coated with wax, and must be peeled. The English ones, tightly swathed in plastic which can be annoyingly difficult to remove, are not waxed, so I buy those. Then I can leave the attractive skin on, perhaps scoring it by dragging a fork down its length to create a nifty striped pattern.
I learned a quick and easy cucumber salad in Thailand which I'd like to share with you. What you'll need:
In a small pot, combine the vinegar, water, sugar, and salt, and bring to the boil. Turn the heat down and simmer for about 5 minutes. Remove from heat, add the chili, and let cool. When ready to serve, toss with the cucumber (and peanuts and cilantro, if adding). Don't add the cucumber until the last minute, however, or it will get soggy.
In Thailand this is eaten with satay and peanut sauce or with fish cakes.