Maybe it's increased confidence, self-esteem, maybe it's the fact that I'm not looking, but for whatever reason whenever I'm involved and in a relationship women find me more attractive. More flirting, more attention, and usually not by those who know me personally. I mean, I'm flattered, but I'm also committed and I like who I'm with, sorry. You wouldn't be interested if I met you some other time, anyways.

Many of my male friends recognize this phenomenon, and beyond cursing it as another case of when it rains, it pours, there's not much we can do. This can really get emotional sluts into problems in a relationship.


Zari: That may be true for a few strange women, but usually I'm talking about women who don't even know my name at the beginning, let alone the fact that I'm taken. So there's something else going on.
Here's why women want you when you're taken:

You're taken.

Some women see a man who is taken, and think to themselves,

"Hey.. this guy has a girlfriend. There must be something good about him worth having. I think I'll attempt to make a move."

Not all women are like this, but some women, either conciously or subconciously, think like this. Some women want the challenge that going after a man who is taken brings. Some women are just dysfunctional.

There's a reason people say "all the good ones are taken". People covet what they can't have.


I find this subject very interesting. The comments so far seemed to have missed out on one crucial element: The element of smell.

Women can smell horniness in men. I don't know how they do it. But they do. And they do not like this smell. It smells to them like monkeybrains and sulfur.

I think the smell of satisfaction that attracts them is just the absence of the smell of terminal horniness.

I hope this helps explain this to you, dragoon.

We worked out a scheme on this once. We call the scenario pre-approval. Similar to when credit card companies obnoxiously solicit you once you have established a good or poor credit rating, but avoid you like the plague when you have none. It seems once you are seen to be attached, it indicates that someone has found you desirable and worth committing to, things that people are interested in acquiring for themselves. Thus, it shows you have passed inspection. The trick then, is to have a pretend girlfriend who will portray the appearance of attachment, allowing you to claim approved dating material status.

There is always that girl who gives other girls a bad name. She likes the "challenge" of a guy who is taken. That isn't always the case.

I have noticed this trend when I am in a relationship. I believe it is at least partly because people who aren't "looking" for a relationship/to get laid/for their soul mate, tend to be more at ease. This can create a facade of confidence. This can be attractive. People can smell someone who is "hunting" a mile away. This can come off as creepy, or just desperate. It isn't attractive sometimes (There are always the people who like desperation in a prospective mate).

Log in or registerto write something here or to contact authors.