This new trend has come to a head with me this morning. Ranking in stupidity right up there with capri pants and pink tee-shirts, I find this practice confusing and disturbing.
The only reason I can see for wearing your keys around your neck is if you lack the cognitive ability to keep track of them, thus it is rather something that I would expect to see a person afflicted with downs syndrome wearing and not a member of the The Wretched Spearsean Army of Idiocy. *
This morning I walked into Coffee People to get my traditional and much needed double iced Black Tiger mocha with whipped cream when I spot a goofy looking 16-year-old girl wearing a pink tee shirt, high waters, so much base that her face was 6 shades lighter than her arms and a big blue shoelace around her neck. It wasn't so much the caked on make-up, or the way her head kept bobbing and swaying. It wasn't the way she kept making these bizarre clicking noises or that she said "like" 23 times while ordering her drink. It was that big fucking blue shoelace with the words "Backstreet Boys" on it over and over again and the gigantic wad of key chains and 2 keys that were hanging from it. I was nearly moved to violence; berserker fantasies of me yanking the abomination from around her neck and dashing her head in with the 14 pound glob of plastic Hello-Kitty key chains at the end of it danced behind my murderously glazed over eyes.
How can she go to school and persecute the geeky kids for their ever-so-horrid fashion sense while she's sporting a big blue shoelace around her neck like forgetful special Ed. kid?

Is this a complete no-brainer or am I imagining things? What's next; decorative shatterproof safety goggles? *

* This is in no way meant to belittle the handicapped community; only to point out the unusual and seemingly incompatible origin of modern adolescent fashion. Excuse me, I am headed over to the patent office to submit my design for the N'Sync Crash Helmet.
Weeeeell, I wear a key (singular) around my neck, along with the requisite bone carving, and I think it's just peachy. Saves on lugging a redundant keychain around. And I can't forget it. I do have a tendency to misplace things - for short periods of time, but a key tends to walk, even if knowledge of the lock's locus is absent (just one of those things I guess) - which could be a pain. Oh, and it makes cool 'jingle-jangle' noises when I walk =op

'Course I wear it *under* my shirt ('less I've been chasing the purty rubbish truck), it's on a proper cord, and should I ever have reason to carry >2 keys I would most likely migrate to the catholic key carrier. It's a convenience thing, people.

Now if only the cord was longer, so I wouldn't have to smooch the door to (un)lock it....

Actually in the military it's pretty common practice to keep one's keys around the neck attached to their dogtag chains. For months that was my preferred way of keeping my keys about and it was pretty effective until one fateful day...

I'd gone to take a shower one late night in AIT (advanced individual training) and of course removed my metal dogtags and keys to get myself soaked and clean. I set my keys on an inside shelf of my wall locker and closed the lock on my doors.

I went and took my shower, enjoying the warm water and cleanliness that came with it, I'd completely forgotten about the keys and dogtags locked in my locker. I toweled off, wrapped said towel around my waist and walked into the bay to get myself dressed. Looking to my wall locker I searched everywhere around my bed, under and over it, around and everywhere even close by. Upon closer examination I realized "damn, I'm locked out".

After an extensive search for clothing and footwear I wound up walking to my sergeant's office in PT clothes and flip flops. Once I'd gotten there I dropped and did my pushups for doing something stupid and cut the lock on my locker. This happened several times over my four months at Ft Gordon.

After doing this enough times I learned the best possible way to keep your keys with you, hooking your dogtags around a belt loop, of course, until you lock your pants in your locker.

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