They are everywhere; wearing Britney pink and tossing their dyed hair to and fro. You thought that they were gone mid 90's. Lo! they have returned heralding the doom of humanity!

I simply cannot abide this for it is spittle in the very face of humanity. Upon the hill an army comes, loath it, for it brings with it a plague that smites human thought and...LIKE OH MY GOD, IS GAP HAVING A SALE?!?!?!

ARGH... Mus..t...fight...

But seriously, this has gotten way out of hand. I went to go out on a lunch break a couple days ago and foolishly I went to the food-court at the mall, craving the cheap-o baked Ziti I knew to be found there. I go to stand in line and mind my business.

So there I am, staring out into space as I am known to do when I get very hungry and suddenly this Spearsean nitwit walks up behind me bobbing and burbling in her hip hugging capri pants and Britney pink v-necked tee-shirt.
I make no exagerations when I tell you that she turned, looked me up and down, appraising me in all my untrendy hoody wearing, unshaven glory and had the gall to snort and roll her eyes.

I wanted nothing more than to careen her head off of the plexiglass sneezeguard.

Instead I calmly looked her right in the eye, looked directly down at her knees, looked back at her, cocked my head to one side, smiled that special smug ass-hole smile and said,
"Nice highwaters".
Her bloated head turned as pink as her shirt and she stormed off. I must admit, I was fairly impressed she knew what highwaters were.

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