Make-up, who came up with this shit? I can see the cave men now, smearing mud on each other. To me it's the same thing.

Nothing to me, is more sexy and exciting than to lean forward to kiss a woman and _____________________ .
  1. ...inhale 3 pints of perfume
  2. ...get slapped because I am going to fuck up her know, the shit she is wearing to make herself look good for boys, or sometimes even to look good specifically for me
  3. ...come out of it wearing more lipstick than her
  4. ...come out of it lacking the ability to feel my face due to all of the base, primer, powder, dust, cream and SHIT smeared on my face
  5. ...end up looking like Carmen Miranda
If you would really like to know what makes you look like shit, its wearing make up, it ruins your complexion and your skin. Wash your face, give it a healthy glow. Nothing to me is sexier than smelling some girlish soap. To me that is more personal than any perfume. I know that when I smell it, I am close to the person. Women who can drop a Llama at 40 paces just don't do it for me.

I sometimes wonder if there is a woman somewhere out there who has a 2-hour commute to work and spends 2-hours in the bathroom a day. Combine that with 8 hours of work and a 2-hour commute home and that is 14 hours. Scary scary scary. I mean 2 hours, the mind boggles at what the fuck a person can do in the bathroom for two hours. She better be hiding a vibrator in there somewhere because otherwise It doesn't seem possible that it could take that long to accomplish smearing tinted mud on your face and spraying forty-six gallons of hair spray in your hair. I wake up, shower, get dressed, grab a mocha and get to work in half an hour.

I have had girlfriends who I have asked them to get dressed so we can go to Burger King for a bite to eat and they take an hour doing their go to Burger King for Christ sake!

At any rate, I like women who look good without the oils and sprays and roll-ons, powders and other various horrors which can only be applied with something resembling a pallet knife. If you have to perform make-up miracles verging on self performed reconstructive surgery...why bother?

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