The Squirrel Diaries

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

    I have purchased enough duct tape to fashion an entirely new BBQ cover if necessary.

    I examine the barbecue: The holes in the cover haven’t gotten any larger, but there seem to be some bits of paper and grass around the bottom. However, before I can make sense of this, a squirrel’s head pops out of the hole and scares the shit out of me. Only now do I realize my folly. They’re not building a nest somewhere else; they’re building a nest right here! Right here, damn it! I can’t have squirrel shit and dander near my food!

    I go back inside to regroup…

Day 3 ½

Day 4

Day 5

    I buy a new BBQ cover.

Day 6 to 11

    I wait for snow.

Day 12

    There’s a cold snap and I wake-up to discover freshly fallen snow outside my window. Surely, the squirrels have found another place to live by now. I haven’t even seen a squirrel around for what seems like ages. I brush off the snow that has accumulated on my barbecue and replace it with my newly purchased cover.

Day 12½

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