"A Practical Review of German Grammar", a college-level German text, is purportedly by Gerda Dippman and Johanna Watzinger-Tharp.

But some of the sentences used as examples in the book are so depressing that they seem like lines from a generic Smiths song. So much so that I'm convinced this book was written by Morrissey. Naturally, one needs a wide range of examples (including those indicating negation, doubt, disagreement, et cetera) in order to provide a sound grammatical foundation. But do you really need examples that are this depressing?

From the prepositions section:

Die ganze Welt ist gegen mich.
The whole world is against me.

From the relative clauses section:

Die Einzige, was mir Sorgen macht, ist meine notorische Faulheit.
The only thing that worries me is my notorious laziness.

From the passive section:

Leider wurde nicht applaudiert.
Unfortunately, there was no applause.

An example of gern haben = to be fond of:

Ich habe Barbara sehr gern, aber ich liebe sie nicht.
I am very fond of Barbara, but I don't love her.

And, the most Smithian of all...

Ich bin nun einmal sehr unbeliebt.
I am very unpopular (and there is nothing to be done about it).

Johnny Marr may be paying the bills with Electronic, but it's painfully clear that Morrissey is writing German textbooks. Any lyric featuring those five translated sentences would be the consummate Smiths song. And if Morrissey ever wants to re-record his Smiths classics in German in order to keep the utility men happy, he could always glean from the lines he wrote in the text:

(You shut your mouth - how can you say...)
Die ganze Welt - ist gegen mich...


Wie sagt man "Hang the DJ" auf deutsch?

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