I've been doing it all day. Since I woke up, and without any good reason.

There's quite a bit that I could be doing instead of this... I could be working on a web page I need to finish, I could be working on my own page... I could be eating, writing, out having coffee at Elgin Street Diner, having great conversations on the phone, writing notes to my Jessica about how I miss her while she's away in Maine...

But I'm not. I'm sitting in my rickety old chair, starting dumbly at the monitor, and listening to old, old depressing songs, most of which carry significant emotional weight to me. Even the dog is depressed by this.

And the old house gives a creak every now and again, just to remind me that while that noise could have been made by a person walking up the stairs, it wasn't, and I am, in fact, all alone.

So I sit here. I sit here, and node about sitting here, and make no effort to call anyone, or make plans, as all the plans I made for yesterday fell through, and I'm just not ready for that kind of day-ending lameness again, I guess.

...

Anyone wanna have a coffee?


Addendum: It's past the point of no return, now. I am now fast-forwarding all songs that are perky, hyper, or otherwise not fitting with the current theme. I've doomed myself.
... is fuckloads better than listening to depressing music alone in a shitty little dormroom, without having a girlfriend to write letters to or anyone to talk to on the phone to, since you just realized you're sick of all your "friends" because they do nothing but make jokes at your expense.

Actually, the quickest way to deal with depression is to replace it with anger. At least anger can be used constructively. Listen to Pretty Hate Machine, and tell yourself that all the tracks were written about that girl that just turned you down or dumped you. Or think about Republicans, or McDonald's, or Britney Spears, or anyone else you hate. Better yet, think of people who've personally offended you recently, and blast loud music by Sevendust or Pantera or even Korn for a few minutes. Even in my laziest, most depressing moments, I find it easy to pop a hateful CD in my computer, and get very angry in under ten minutes.

And then you can do all kinds of exciting things, like take dishes and mugs outside and smash them to smithereens.

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