A rap-"sensation" from Finland.

Petri Nygård got hugely popular this summer due to his officially distributed mp3-demo and two singles. So popular, he was both the first and second simultaneously in the Finnish single chart.

Petri's music is characterized by hillbilly lyrics about boozing, getting laid and making fun of Finnish rock artists, combined with inept backgrounds and a total unprofessional feeling. He naturally raps using the Finnish language, so everybody can understand his "message".
Nygård's image is also carefully constructed, convincing the masses that he actually does nothing but parties, drinks hard liquor, smokes tons of weed and gets pussy all the time.

The man is also very mysterious. He never shows his face, gives TV interviews nor performs live.

Why?

Because Petri Nygård doesn't exist.

He is actually a project by a group of serious Finnish rappers, nuERA, who normally rhyme in english. Petri's voice is done by Petri Laurila alias Dream, the founding member of the act. Apparently nuERA got pissed off at the bad sales of their recent album, and decided to create an artist who would top the charts just by being a stupid disgusting redneck, and at the same time a spoof most people couldn't understand.

And they succeeded.

The first full P.N. album was released today. It will be no.1 next week. Go Finland.

But I must admit that while Petri Nygård was just created to fuck with the entire country (pardon my french), his lyrics are still quite funny. He has often been described as the "Eminem of Finland", and that is actually very fitting. Both say crazy stuff they don't really believe in just to make people buy their record and make others mad. Petri just adds the basic-Finn-yokel-image to the mix.




Update - February 21, 2000

In a recent interview Sport, who is one of the guys running Petri's label and has also appeared on his mp3-EP as Obelix Häkkinen, told that the first Petri Nygård tracks were made around 1998. They were initially just created as a joke (duh), but after "waiting for the right moment" the Liepo posse decided to see if they could actually sell it to the public by first creating a hype on the internet. I would say this "experiment" was quite successful. :)

After I created this node, Petri actually has performed a few live gigs around Finland. His wardrobe naturally consisted of a thick jacket, a scarf around his face and sunglasses, so nobody could recognize Dream and the Petri myth wasn't broken.
No, I didn't witness the performance myself. But I've seen photographic evidence.




Update - May 13, 2001

Petri's second official album was released last friday. I wasn't expecting it to be good, but I must say it was surprisingly bland and boring. The funny lyrics were the only redeeming feature of this joke product, but for the most part they just seem tired and repetitive.
The last track of the album is the only one I found funny and listeneable, probably because it is a direct continuation to the Pillumagneetti EP.
I love the message "Vitun MP3Äpärät" ("fucking MP3-bastards") behind the back cover's copyright notices. :)



Discography:

Pillumagneetti
mp3-demo
2000


Vitun Suomirokki
single
May 29, 2000


Kanava Nolla (Antakaa Mun Olla)
single
July 3, 2000


Mun Levy!
album
August 11, 2000


Rääväsuu (featuring EM:EL)
single
autumn 2000


Petri Hallitsee Liigaa
single
April 12, 2001


Petri Presidentixi
album
May 11, 2001




Petri's official page:
http://www.biitti.com/petrinygard/

nuERA's site:
http://biitti.com/nuera/


This writeup was NOT stolen. Everything is written in my own words. So don't bother with the copyright-whining and/or offensive soft links. Thank you.
You will probably want to read break's excellent writeup first to understand what this is all about.

To give the rest of the planet some flavor of Petri Nygård's style, I have quickly translated one of the songs off their debut EP Pillumagneetti ("Pussy Magnet"), entitled Mitä!? (Mitä, mitä?), or "What!? (What, what?)". When reading this, please remember "Petri Nygård" is a spoof project by the serious rap group nuERA, whose intention was to test how well rap consisting solely of tales of drinking, getting laid, saying "fuck" a lot and threatening to beat up people would sell. (As if this needed proof after MTV -- so, of course, the band's first single became the fastest-selling Finnish single of all time.) And while 95% of the lyrics fit this image perfectly, there are a few clue-by-fours hidden in there, which I've marked with bold.

Alas, the translation is considerably less funny than the original, because most of the hilariously bad rhymes (my all-time favorite is the apathetic/automatic/tomatic trio) no longer work and the many Finnish pop culture jokes won't make sense. I've tried to hardlink the cultural references, and some of them are already noded.

With the disclaimers out of way, let's give the mike to Petri!


Mitä!? (Mitä, mitä?) Mitä vikaa What's wrong vitun homot ja huorat fucking homos and hos Joo, mä oon Petri, mun tiimi on Liepo Yeah, I'm Petri, my team is Liepo me ollaan ne hauskanpitäjät, ne kunnon kaljasiepot We're the playboys, the beer sparrows tupakoitsijoita vituttaa niksat, niksat nicotine pisses off smokers mutta mun ongelmat on paksupohjaset pitsat but my problem is pan pizza koska roskaruoalla ja kaljalla itseäni hellin I treat myself with junk food and beer vaimokseni haluan Janita Frostellin so as my wife I want Janita Frostell tää on mulle tuttu juttu, mutta en ole Koivusalon Timo this stuff's my game, but I'm not Timo Koivusalo se on mun suonissani, veressä, hiphop on mun himo it's in my veins, in my blood, I lust for hiphop ahaa, mä sanon eiks se riitä, ei sitten kai oh, I say, not enough for you, guess not oliks sulla sanomista vai, mä syön sut kuin hai got something to say, I'll eat you like a shark sama äijä, sama tyyli, sama mind, mutta eri kieli Same guy, same style, same feel, different language ennenkuin tänne tulin, viis litraa kaljaa mä nielin before I came here I drank five litres of beer älä ole noin apaattinen, mun mieli on automaattinen don't be so apathetic, my mind is automatic ensi kerran kun pillua nuolin, maku oli tomaattinen the first time I ate pussy the taste was tomatic filmaattinen ja fiksu, en vedä roolia smart and like a film star, I'm not playing a role mut juon boolia, heitän stooria, metafooria I drink punch, tell a story, metaphors Mitä, mä kysyn vaan että mitä What, I'm just asking what? pohjoisesta etelään, se on lännestä itään north to south is from west to east tytöt haluu tätä, mut mä haluun sitä girls want this but I want that mun ei tarvi sanoo enää mitään häh I don't have to say anything, huh? Mä oon pelkkää toimintaa, voitan elokuva hiitin ja spiidin I'm pure action, I beat the movies Heat and Speed hei tyttö mun siitin yhdistää meidät kuin johtoliitin hey girl, my member joins us like a cable connector kaadan kaikki naiset ihan kuin heinäniitit I lay down all the women like hay vuokrasin sviitin, mä oon kiimanen ja haluun Nylon Biitin I rented a suite, I'm horny and want Nylon Beat ei tää räppi lakkaa, lähe vittuun, rupee pakkaan this rap won't stop, fuck off, go pack tai mä nakkaan, tän hakkaan, te ootte ihan pohjasakkaa or I'll throw ya, beat ya, you're all pond scum tää on lyyrinen kapina, ei mikään turha napina this is a lyrical riot, not just a useless grumble mitä mä teen, te teette perässä kuin vitun apina whatever I do, you'll copy me like a fucking monkey mä ratkaisen kaikki ongelmat kuin komisario Palmu I solve all problems like Commissioner Palmu heitä homo voltti, vittu en mä anna mitään almuu take a leap you fag, I give no fucking alms perseennuolijat mussa roikkuu, en mää siitä välitä asslickers hang on to me, I don't give a damn tää on jotain Henry Saaren ja Uuno Turhapuron väliltä this is something between Henry Saari and Uuno Turhapuro sen takia likat musta tykkää, ja mä ne hoidin that's why girls like me and that's why I laid them mä oon monitoimitaiteilija ja voitan jopa Vesku Loirin I'm a Renaissance artist and beat even Vesa-Matti Loiri näät mun viikonloppuna sikakännissä mä hamuilin you see me on the weekend, wandering totally drunk silti oon elämäni kunnossa kuin Aira Samulin still in the shape of my life, like Aira Samulin Mä kysyin että mitä, länsi itä I'm saying what, west east joka suuntaan, aina samaa settiä vaikka yritätte muuttaa all directions, always the same crap although you try to change me mikä teitä rissaa, en leiki koiraa kissaa what's your problem, I'm not playing dog and cat tää on niin kova juttuu, te ette haluu tätä missaa this is so big you don't wanna miss this mitä mitä mitä mitä häh? what what what what huh? Petri Nygård, mitä mitä? Petri Nygård, what what? Ei mulle löydy kilpailijoita, oon mies vailla vertaa I have no competitors, I'm a man without a match voitan XL vitosen viis sataa kertaa I beat XL5 five hundred times haluun enemmän rahaa kuin Jari Sillanpää I want more money than Jari Sillanpää tuo drinkit pöytään, en tiedä missä olen tän illanpään bring the drinks to the table, no idea where I'll be tonight sydän sykittää, kännissä mua aina rupee lykittään heart pumping, when I'm drunk I always get lucky kansaa hypittää, kun tää jätkä tykittää the people jump when I fire my rhymes huonoja siirtoja pitää kaittaa, mutta silti te yritätte valittaa avoid bad moves, but still you try to complain täältä räppi matkaa taittaa, kalja maittaa this is where the rap comes from, beer is tasty eikä se edes haittaa, pakko laittaa kuntoon tää setti and it doesn't matter, time to put this set straight silloin kun sää räppäsit, vittu multa pokka petti because when you were rapping I just lost it eli länsi itä hemmaan, ei sun räpit stemmaa west east go home, your rhymes don't work mä en anna sulle mitään, en edes femmaa I won't give you anything, not even a buck et pysty ostaan multa riimejä, joten älä kysy mikä on hinta you can't buy my rhymes, so don't ask about the price mulla on ihailijoita ympäri maailmaa, mä oon kuin Lampeniuksen Linda I have fans around the world, I'm like Linda Lampenius sää oot ihan jälkeen jäänyt, sulla on vielä varmaan puberteetti you're totally retarded, you're probably still in puberty se oon mä Petri, humalainen pillumagneetti yeah that's me Petri, the drunk pussy magnet mee vittuun fuck off

Lyrics by Petri Nygård.
Composed by Petri Nygård and Mike NOT (Noise productions).
Translated by gn0sis.

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