Because context is everything...
spiregrain: I like the infamous non-rhyming limerick - "She was a young woman from Prague/ Whose forehead was shaped like a book/ when she trod on a nail/ it went into her shoe/ and now there's a nail in her shoe"
Evil Catullus: I tried to seduce the hunky young priest at my Church when I was 15. He wouldn't bite. Damn it.
ryano: What are the odds?
spiregrain: 15 is a bit old for them
TenMinJoe: I did notice that zombie movies offer the scriptwriter a very convenient method to dispose of characters that have served their purpose.
TenMinJoe: "Hmm, done with this guy really, what shall I do with him ah yes RAAAR ZOMBIES RANDOMLY EAT HIM"
StrawberryFrog: I want a pet octupus.
StrawberryFrog: And I'd build it a little electic car full of water, so it could drive around.
TenMinJoe: (electric octopus car)++
StrawberryFrog: with a glass dome on top, and it's tentacles wrapped around the joystick...
spiregrain: yea, and then the army of octopi that take over the planet in little water-filled tanks will kill you last.
Oolong has a friend who wrote back to the TV Licence people politely explaining that although the did have a TV set, it wasn't for watching but was simply used to provide parts for the time machine they were building. They apparently accepted this.
XWiz: My cat is shamelessly masturbating. I'm astounded.
eien_meru: Childhood is annoying.
inlet: I can't believe you'd say such a thing. Childhood allows you to freely eat crayons and glue.
tyrannosaurus: hello all
Walter: AHHH A DINOSAURR
TenMinJoe: There's a parallel universe where every coin toss so far has come up "heads"
TenMinJoe: I bet the physicists in that universe really hate it there.
spiregrain: what is the natural habitat of the Gorilla? Mist?
sam512: They went to the moon, and they brought back rock! Trouble is, we've got rock. "ROCK, Neil? Did you look at the planet before you took off? It's MADE of the stuff!"
Andromache01: Ahh, babies. I could probably punt one pretty far.
bewilderbeast: Haha, I put a picture of some socks I knitted on flickr, and was promptly asked to add it to a fetishist pool (for socks and shoes).
GhettoAardvark: The real question, is did you accept?
bewilderbeast: I think yes! Whatever gets you off, internet.
Noung: I see Excalibur still hasn't got over me.
Noung: I just don't date offensive weapons.
Noung: I'll be experimenting with my sexuality with a shield.
Aerobe: At least you're using protection.
rootbeer277 makes note: historical data only works for dates in the _past_
ZoeB: in stonehenge, you stand in the middle and go "WTF does this do, then?"
ZoeB: it has no instructions :/
tentative: The song "tentative" by System of A Down is terrible.
tentative: It isn't about me at all!
Jet-Poop: "Love is the only truth" is the most smarmy-college-freshman thing I've heard in ages. Take a damn physics class.
avalyn: I prefer henchpersons to minions.
avalyn: Having minions implies something supernatural. And that's just not me.
Oolong is full of pancakes.
dannye: DRAG ME TO HELL
dannye: We just turned this DVD off at the halfway mark.
dannye: What's the point?
dannye: I think I know where they were going to drag her.
sam512: It's so obvious in retrospect. Global warming is caused by the end of the Cold War.
TenMinJoe: Simple solution: Send Mormons to mars.
Morwen: But then in 50 years time they will build space guns to send their missionaries back to Earth to go around doorknocking.
Morwen: Possibly in tripods
TenMinJoe: They won't build space guns! That's the beauty. The hard part is going to be getting them in the spaceships to Mars in the first place.
spiregrain: if you sent Mormons to Mars, they would be beleiving that Jesus visited Mars and that their settlement was key to his cosmic purpose within two generations.
Evil Catullus is jealous of moosemanmoo's shoes and plots to replace them with a pair of bad-tempered geese.
spiregrain: as cyclists loathe and feat drivers, so pedestrians loathe cyclists.
ascorbic: As a pedestrian, cyclist and driver, I loathe everyone.
sam512: Retreating into a fictional reality is one way of dealing with the utter annihilation of all coherent existence, I suppose.
Halspal: In modern times I've only heard it used ironically or comically, but I don't believe I've ever heard 'uppity' without it being attached to black people. It's like how 'furiously' is always attached to 'masturbating'.
Clockmaker: What kind of monstrous creature puts »Delete All Contacts« next to the menu item that lets you see your own phone number?!
TenMinJoe: "Are you sure?" Yes of course I'm sure I want to see my phone number. OH SHIT.
sam512: The theme tune has lyrics which explain this. "Adventures in time / adventures in time / adventures in time / with the Doctor / DOCTOR WHO / WHOOOOOOOOO / NOT HIS NAME / IT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW"
sam512: What does a grizzly bear look like if you shave it?
Simulacron3: What about Facebook makes you stay rather than just walk away saying, "Fuck that shit, man."?
Jet-Poop: I can't write about Texas politics without just devolving to typing the F-word hundreds of thousands of times. :/
gnarl: does the orchestral version include manouevres in the dark?
Oolong: I *still* haven't seen Pi. Or Primer.
Oolong: I'm behind on my watching of films that start with P and have the letter i in their titles.
Morwen: That would make for an interesting film collection.
Morwen: "Lets watch Pirates of the Carribean. It's under P." "They all start with P!"
lizardinlaw: Gosh, all of those movies with penis in the title. Whew, I'd rather watch the pirates.
kthejoker: We went to a crappy IDM concert once, and the guy was just hitting play on his laptop and standing there, and one song was just skronky nothing and long bits of fake-ending silence, and one person yelled out, "The emperor has no clothes!" and then we chanted and burned the place to the ground and briefly took over New Brunswick.
sam512: Because of their religious beliefs, some guests may not eat certain foods; be sure to call them beforehand and remind them God does not exist
Kizor: A university course in radiation safety and transcribing radiation therapy reports go together like transsexuals and radical feminists.
rootbeer277: A headshot should probably kill just about anything, giving a big enough bullet.
rootbeer277: Again, with the glaring and obvious exception of a headless horseman.