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Andromache01

 

user since
Tue May 16 2000 at 18:51:35 (8 years ago )
last seen
Sat May 17 2008 at 22:09:59 (20.9 minutes ago )
number of write-ups
53 - View Andromache01's writeups (feed)
level / experience
4 (Scribe) / 3297
C!s spent
136
mission drive within everything
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
specialties
Mythology. Sarcasm. Cake-thieving.
school/company
Would you like to buy a monkey, sir? Gently-used?
motto
I used to have a conscience, but I sold it for some Pixy Stix and chalk.
most recent writeup
December 9, 2007


But alas, I have no badger to offer you.
Zombie care and maintenance


Most recent picture of me (4.28.08) can be found here. That's not your mother, it's a man, baby! (More traditionally gendered photo can be found here. Note that I am not normally that orange, but that's what happens when you take a stage makeup course.)
Bruce Campbell picture (no, seriously) can still be found here, by the way. (Yes, I really am that deathly pale.)




Andromache01: Poe's something of a role model, as long as you don't count the alcoholism, gambling, and manic depression.




TheDeadGuy: Yeah, she only dates men who eat the hearts out of living children.






Andromache01 plans on abusing this knowledge shamelessly.
Glowing Fish: Knowledge, can you show me where Andromache01 touched you?







Hey, you.
Yes, you.
I'm damned lonely here in the city of chicken wings. I don't bite. Much. And I have a hard time initiating conversation on my own. Drop me a /msg, or, if you're the old-fashioned type, send me a letter to the address listed on my homenode. It'd be a nice change from all those envelopes addressed to "Occupant", that's for certain. I will do my best, in my little, asocial way, to reciprocate. Promise.

Desperately yours,
Andro.








Turn-ons include:
Tentacles
The undead
Global thermonuclear war
Cunning use of punctuation, spelling, and grammar
Tetris

Turn-offs include:
Spawn
Spawning
Puny HU-MONS
Showtunes








STALKING MADE EASY:
Female.
21 22 23 24 Christ, 25 years old.
Hair (Current): Black.
Hair (Natural): Black.
Eyes: myopic and Blue. Ish. Green.
Height: 5'6".
Current Number of Unnatural Holes in My Head: 12.
Holes Elsewhere: Alas, not any more.
Weight: Slightly less than a small pony.
AIM SN: tetriselemental
Yahoo SN: cthulhulovesme
Livejournal address: http://www.livejournal.com/users/cthulhulovesme/
DeviantART site: http://tetriselemental.deviantart.com/
Buy me stuff: (If this actually gets clicked on, I will be both surprised and Republican {Edit, Nov 2005: Okay, so I lied about the Republican part.}.) Check it out just to see what I'm drooling over at the moment, not for any expected material gain on my part.

Teh Super Sekrit current address (Emergency use only):
One
Two
Three
Four.
Last Updated: 13 Apr 2008




















"Although so far there's no known treatment for death's crippling effects, still everyone can acquaint himself with the three early warning signs of death. One, rigor mortis; two, a rotting smell; three, occasional drowsiness."


















Is that a tentacle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?































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Emotional masochist






















Movies most recently viewed:
Fido
Harold and Maude
Cabaret
Hot Fuzz
Shaun of the Dead





What other noders have to say about me:

IWhoSawTheFace: mental note to self: avoid any pr0n recommended by Andromache01.

Simulacron3: The evidence is gathering for my theory that Andromache01 is Charles Manson.
Cletus the Foetus: She's way hotter than Charles Manson. And a little taller.

greyblue: Andromache is apparently a static memory address.

TenMinJoe has seen pictures of A01 and suspects she could talk him into anything in person but feels safely shielded by this textual medium

yclept suddenly sees "Andromache" as "Andromaki" and twitches a little herself.

doyle: Me offerios mios tentacalos, andomachismos.

bewilderbeast has an irrational crush on Andro, but don't tell her kplzthx

IWhoSawTheFace: One suspects that A01 is about 740 years old due to her multiple reincarnations and possible vampirically-enhanced longevity. One furthermore suspects her of being non-innocent as well.

loquacious: Andromache is cuter than a Japanese schoolgirl, and even more squid-friendly.

etouffee: andro is made from Squids ..and spite.
Swap: And every little wight.

Byzantine haze: Well, as long as I get to be the fucked-up goth chick with the magic.
haze Byz: sorry, Andromache01 has that one nailed.

IWhoSawTheFace looks for another volunteer and spots... Andromache01. Perfect. She'll do.
IWhoSawTheFace: Young. Naive. A looker. Her marks won't know they're dead until she twists the knife and gives them her trademark Kiss of Death.

allseeingeye: Like a Tinkerbell formed of pure malice jammed into our temples.

allseeingeye: Andromache01 is clearly powered by coal, steam, and the blood of men.

Kit: Nej, jag är inte svenska. Men jag kan svenska. Och Andromache01 är en väldigt sexiga tjej.

EXTomar: Andro just has "zombie sex sense". Kind of like Spiderman but with necrophilia.

Laura Elizabeth: Andro is, truly, the most evil amoungst us. All Bow!

golFUR knits an Andromache.
golFUR reconsiders the amount of black yarn required.


Andromache01 has ethics _and_ morals. Also the mange.

TenMinJoe: A01, you don't get to comment on what is and isn't weird, since your baseline is so far removed from everyone else's.

TheDeadGuy: Her misery is wrought of fraud, Miner, do not be fooled by her bleak appeals. Misery is just the champagne she sips to fend off the cold onset of the day.



The Obligatory Catbox Quote Section

ascorbic: If sarcasm, irony and humour were in any way ambiguous in a textual medium it could lead to no end of confusion.

Andromache01: prods the Death Borg.
EDB: no prodding from sexpots me need rest much stress in treatments

69lovesongs: No, but what is Elder God pr0n?
Andromache01: Well, little Johnny, when Cthulhu and a Shoggoth love each other very much...

kthejoker: My favorite novelization was The Passion of the Christ, except it had a lot of exposition about some people who weren't even in the movie, and it was a bit preachy, but otherwise, A+ material.

Ouroboros: The sight is dismal. And our affairs from England came too late. The ears are senseless that should give us hearing, to tell him his command is fufilled. That Rosencrantz and Hello Kitty are dead.

sam512: Those of you who just joined us, we're comparing genitalia to dairy products. Welcome to E2! Have you read the FAQ yet?

wordnerd: If anyone needs me, I'll be at the liquor store, learning Spanish.
Andromache01: "Tengo gatos en mis pantalones. Otro tequila mas, por favor."
Ereneta: Queremos ver los gatos ahora.

liveforever: As an Elder God, I resent your non-tentacularity. I already ate my lawyers, so some of my less frightening minions will be calling on you soon.

haze: And there you are with you dick hanging out, the table in flames, in the middle of a pool of acid.
Cletus the Foetus: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

Andromache01 realizes the reason why so many go mad when attempting to write Squidmas day carols is that nothing rhymes with "R'lyeh."
maxClimb: Andro: I think it rhymes with 'orange'.

rootbeer277: Margarine spreads more easily.
LaggedyAnne: so do hookers, but I don't put them on toast.

Scriblerus suggests that Pint has a small Johnson.
Pint: My dickens milays longer than yours, scribby.

Scriblerus: After burial, if you say the Pope's names five times in front of a mirror, he appears behind you and kills you.

Wiccanpiper: Father, I have impure thoughts toward my fellow men. A lot of my fellow men, in fact.

icicle: we have an IRC channel also, but it's mostly full of embittered drunks. the catbox is only like 50% embittered, but is also usually full of drunks.

mat catastrophe: The downside to the hive mind is the unsightly antennae. And the claws replacing hands.

Andromache01: You have something against fishy demons?
DejaMorgana: Errrr, noooooo, not "against them", per se, just that they are not numbered amongst the sexier hellspawn. I quite like slime and gills, myself, I just wouldn't want to take it to bed.

FeltTips: you've heard of flying the black flag? Take no prisoners? Ninja girls fly the black panties. It just means the same thing.

bewilderbeast hasn't had an erection in years because THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH GODDAMNED SAUERKRAUT.

Excalibre: Always wear a condom when having sex with the dead. Seriously, always. Trust me on that one.

rootbeer277: But now that you mention it, those genetic engineers could test out the technique on guinea pigs, using them for their intended purpose.
TheDeadGuy: Literal guinea pigs, or the societally dispossessed who "volunteer" for medical experiments for $50 and a cookie?
rootbeer277: Either is acceptable, as neither can produce its own vitamin C.

Myrkabah: You know, I should have known when I got my dick caught in my zipper earlier this evening that it was a harbinger of some cataclysmic event, and here it is.
Palpz: anyways, for anyone who claims that the male form is better because breasts are "oddly shaped", I must ask this question. Have you ever seen a penis?

chaotic_poet: Guys are easier to manipulate with a uterus. If I had one, I would be a force to be reckoned with. I would dangle it from a mace and smite my enemies.

Ancientsnow: People, we've talked about noder sex at least three times today. From this data I conclude that we all need to get laid.
BookReader: We're internet people. Of course we all need to get laid.



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