Its that time of the month when I can actually afford to open my mailbox and begin to budget my payment schedule to those who I owe. Today, I opened my mailbox and a heavier than normal amount of mail fell out.

I crouched down to pick the letters up and I noticed they were all in window envelopes with unfamilliar logos with the words Personal and Confidential stamped on the front of them.

I had to think about where they were coming from. Did I miss paying someone off somewhere down the line and now they want my ass? I opened the mail.

YOU HAVE BEEN APPROVED FOR YOUR VERY OWN PLATINUM AMEX!


Blow me. I don't make $60,000 annually.

There were seven envelopes addressed to me that were marked this way but contained some sort of junk content. Is this how advertising and marketing departments are going to be trying to get our attention via snailmail?

I'm gonna ignore it all and just wait for the bills to come in that are in brown envelopes. They're the ones you gotta pay.

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