• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• It was really hot, in a Silent Hill kind of way
• Was the Black Death really just Anthrax?
• the horrible gift was really quite right
• What seemed like tenderness was really weakness
• I wish when I closed a book I could set it on the shelf and know it was really over
• Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
• Adam really was the first man
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• Sex with my sister was always really, really good
• I was very, very drunk
• It's really very silly, I was thinking, they are all acting so weird
• Why Socrates was really executed
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• There was a baby in China
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• Nothing Was Beautiful and Everything Hurt
• Get drunk on History
• Arrested for being drunk in a... bar? In... Texas? Apparently so.
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• I'm not really entitled to an opinion
• One problem with being born really soon after Christmas
• Is spanking really child abuse?
• Are these numbers really random?
• I REALLY hate this god damn robot
• It really sucks: A Kirby vacuum salesperson's story
• The cactus that told me my mom was asleep
• I was once stranded on a dessert island
• When that cow would walk it was like she was dancing
• What was the question?
• I'm glad the evil overlord was on my team
• I was sure it was her
• Where Once Life Was
• Even the moon was wrong
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• If a black hole were created on Earth
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• I was afraid of getting caught
• I married him because he was not mean
• Penis wa ge sik
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• I was Christian for a day
• Judi Bari
• Barnum was right
• Aunt Peg
• back when our blood was still warm
• There never was a body that gave the undertaker a tip
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• the country was so nice we bombed it twice
• She is and was
• The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
• Long and lean, he was a sex machine, and he schooled every girl in town
• Man Was Made to Mourn
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• It was men who made breasts into a secret.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• Mixed drinks you come up with when you're drunk
• drunken wasps
• being drunk
• Sexist jokes
• If she really wanted to fit in, she'd get a smaller dog.
• Many Overlooked Mother Board Tweaks that really help.
• The Watergate Hotel is really a haunted amusement park.
• I wish I had been told what Schrödinger really meant
• girls, it's really not funny
• What do you really fear?
• Was not cleanly unmounted, check forced
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• Lando was supposed to die
• It was more than perfect understanding
• I once dreamt that I was a c++ program
• It was the least I could do
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• The Day Earth Was Born
• The sky was green today
• I was a teenage telephone solicitor
• If I was beautiful like you
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• There Was a Man of Double Deed
• Yesterday was Dramatic, Today is OK
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Was that real, or did I dream it?
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• If I was president
• Bingu wa Mutharika
• I Thought I Was A Child
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• In a dream I had, I was on an island in the middle of the ocean.
• It was crippled, it was heart-felt. The latter invariably trumps the former
• I felt I was part of something, like a voice in a crowd or an island in a sea
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• the signal was killed
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
• I washed dishes with the Chinese FBI then was an extra in a cursed movie
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• I often get drunk in my basement
• Really
• How M&M's are really made
• I really really scared myself this evening
• Is that table really there?
• I never really thought about it
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• Like a really good sex
• without really seeing them and
• hodgepodge was just a one-night stand, apparently
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• Leather-bound organizer
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• deru kugi wa utareru
• No one was ever fired for buying IBM
• Same as it Ever Was
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• I was burgled
• Jesus was a feminist
• Grammatical and syntactic puzzles
• Okay, okay, I confess! It was me! I broke the internet!
• Your smile was embarrassed. Your fingers were dew-covered. I am still smiling.
• She was never mine. I always shared her.
• It was just a crush
• Which was what we wanted
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• She always was devious in her beauty
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• How the Earth was destroyed
• She was pain and pleasure all at once, wrapped up in needles and Ramones T-shirts
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• more sure of all I thought was true
• All you ever did was let it happen
• Renee was a princess (person) mp3 (recording)
• The one thing Superman was bad at
• Drunk Lady meets Smarmy Guy
• My first drunk
• Smurfette really wasn't a "smurf" nor an "ette"
• What homophobia really means
• University students can be really stupid
• What I really want is for my troubles to be a puddle on your shoulder
• Girlfriends are basically just really good porn
• It's Up To You. No Really, It's Up To You.
• Descartes was wrong
• Fast-talking career gal who thought she was one of the boys
• I was once stranded on a desert island
• Born with the gift of laughter, and a sense that the world was mad
• What was left after the party
• She was locked in time
• Why Smokey Bear was wrong
• I could do without it, if I knew what it was
• She was very beautiful. Y'know?
• Gnocchi was my undoing
• The day I found out I was a guy
• I was a father for a few days
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• Johnny was a parachuter
• The state that almost was
• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• War is only fun on screen
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• And Every One Was a Henry: A Magnificent Maryland Renaissance Oktoberfest E2 Throwdown!
• Freud was wrong. Freud is dead. That is all.
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• She was watching me and I didn't know it.
• What I would do If I knew what was good for me
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• I was put on hold for time to gnaw me raw.
• I was monied and I needed the youth
• It doesn't matter whether Hitler was an Atheist or a Christian
• When I was very young, I knew that the world was made of honey.
• Nero was an angler in the lake of darkness
• Drunk and refusing to stagger
• Drunk as a skunk
• Getting drunk with 16 year olds
• What the bumps on cucumbers really are
• I really have to do you now
• Musical Terms Applying to Percussion that Sound Dirty But Really Aren't
• How to really impress people using division by 7
• A really yummy toaster treat
• tell me a story about really being undead

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