If you really need to find out how stupid you are, just listen to everything you say and carefully scrutinize its real meaning, or lack thereof.
I have said some pretty stupid things in my life, including and not limited to the following:

  • ”How do you rewind this thing?” (asked after finishing The Little Mermaid II on DVD)

  • ”Where are my keys?” (asked while I was driving – the keys were in the ignition)

  • ”I hate people who bring pacifiers to school” (said in conversation with a girl who happened to be wearing not one, but two pacifiers around her neck. Try explaining that one.)

  • ”Roof not!” (I was trying as hard as I could to remember what one called driving around in a convertible with the top down, and this was the best I could come up with)

  • ”That’s so gay.” (said in conversation with one of my best friends, who just happens to be homosexual)

It is not known how smart one can truly consider oneself to be until one has admitted to saying such things in public. Then stupidity and intelligence are engaged in splendid combat, while we can do no more than stand by and watch helplessly.

However, I have heard other people say much worse than the things I listed above. This leads me to conclude that my intelligence to stupidity ratio is above average. One can not wish for much more than that.


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