September 25, 2000
Everything Editor Logs
history | prophecy

O dem bones, though your head is caught in the drawbridge of the "Castle of Pain" tonight and you cannot find your briefcase, still you know and see the expanse of the nodegel. Your minions swarm about the nodes being shaped from the gel and run their cilia over them, tasting for the right shape. Our editorial eyestalks blink in rhythms that send out /msgs to users: "Howdy hi! You wrote 'scnience' but meant 'science'. Have a nice day! Please node again!" The toxins from our dorsal projections delete the bad tasting nodes. Our multiple sets of mandibles gently cradle nodes to be carried to the comb of Page of Cool. The taste of trolls is clear. The nate has given us the power of communion with a single /tell. We are strong. The gel is good. The noders are good. All is well in the gelspace this morning.


I added a bit to knifegirl's documentation. Relaxed shells into freegel.


  • The Closer the Henhouse, the Fresher the Egg by sporter. By request.
  • By sabby, by request:
    • nothing that geeks like better
    • finish the links
  • Nodeless user optx.
  • Romulan by sabby.

Of the newborn ones, most were healthy, but one-tenth were born twisted. Of those, most could be healed. We splinted and nursed them, but one-tenth of the crippled ones could not be saved. They were in pain and they were maddened by their deformities. I stroked them until they stopped shaking, and slipped the knife in behind the ear of each one. I carried them out into the field and buried them tenderly in unmarked graves.

I walked home to feed and cherish the survivors.

  • taboo and killers by Jinx (never seen on E2): Taboo had no hardlinks, and was somewhat vague and unhelpful. killers had one hardlink and was, believe it or not, wrong: "The term used when one person slaughters another person in cold blood.". There are good definitions in both nodes.

  • cat vomit by donfreenut: "the vomit of a cat. duh." I killed this one a couple days ago. And now twice today.

  • One Infinite Loop by paulscan (never seen on E2): "OK, One Infinite Loop is creative. One Microsoft Way? Not imaginitive enough. I mean, does One Apple Way sound good? It sounds like the road to an orchard." No hardlinks and bad spelling. "One Infinite Loop" is apparently Apple's address; another writeup in the node explains that and the fact that "One Microsoft Way" is Microsoft's address. Well, "One Apple Way" isn't anybody's address. Why is this person complaining about it? Gee, I'm glad they didn't choose "Four Fuckhead Circle"! What a relief! . . . I mean, is there a point here?

  • farewell drugs by Spatch (Never seen on E2): "Sid and Nancy forgot 'em." That's a damn shame, I agree, but what are they?

  • Williams Lake by InfiL00p: "A heaping pile of sh*t that exists in Canada between Prince George, and Vancouver. It is very bad, and consists mostly of rednecks." No hardlinks, new user. I /msg'd the user about hardlinks earlier and got no response.

  • downvote this by kaatunut:

    Although it seems they decided that nodes specifically asking to get up- or downvoted (The "Downvote This Node" Metanode, Bowling for Votes) were a Bad Thing, I would like to note that there are legitimate uses for such nodes nevertheless.

    I'm not telling you what they are. Now, downvote this writeup, and nuke/kill (I don't care how, just get it removed) it later (not right away, thank you) on.

    I'm not sure what this was about, but it's a "downvote me" with no meaningful content. I informed the user, and suggested that if he doesn't want it killed until later, a good way to do that would be to put some content in it until later.

    Okay, he was using it to test a perl script which he wrote (E2 node tracker), the purpose of which was to track kills/nukes and changes in writeup reps -- so it was perfectly legitimate, in fact definitively so. Still, there was no way to tell that from the writeup itself. If you're doing this kind of stuff, say what's up in the writeup. A writeup like that is a "kill-me" and you're not likely to get a warning before it dies. By chance, killing it provided just the test case he was looking for and at just the right moment, but I still feel bad about the misunderstanding. Later yet, kaatunut and I just spent some time on IRC debugging the thing for Win32 perl, and it's a corker! Nifty, nifty, nifty. Good stuff.

  • dick spicket by windigo:

    "Synonymous with; douche-nozzle, ass-mantiss and cum-crunchy, basically the equivilance of babboon-butt but not to be confused with monkey-bootie. Just a name in an infinite list for someone who has the fortitude and intelligence as possibly a bag of rocks"

    No hardlinks. I'm guessing that the user was attempting to spell "spigot" in the title, but it's hard to tell with people like that. Don't node garbage like this.

  • 'N Synch by sabby: It's not spelled that way. There wasn't very much in the writeup, but it would have been tolerable in the correct node, 'N Sync. I /msg'd the user about the misspelling right after it was noded. The user chose to ignore the /msg, and later started whining about how it was downvoted because people don't like the "band". This is not sensible, because the writeup was all about how they sucked. A lot of new users make truly bizarre assumptions about the motives behind downvoting. They just make stuff up, and start believing it.

/msg s_heaney About this Translation is a good writeup, but please hardlink caesura, eorl, thane, and thole. Thanks.

Ex-Users Lacking Writeups: paulscan

Useless Nodeshells: dick spicket, 'N Synch

Killed i haven't been fucked like that since grade school by bigmouth_strikes. All it told us was what bigmouth_strikes' least popular write-up was. That's redundant. If we really wanted to know, we could find it through Everything User Search.

Killed there's already a node about this, fool by the elusive punster everyone. It said, "There's already a writeup about this, fool". Who's the fool here?

Killed several write-ups by , (sic!). This is a new noder. Normally I don't like killing new noders' write-ups, but try to /msg and help them. But this one says he/she has been on E2 for a month and that he wants to become a higher level noder. If you seriously want that, then please write higher-level nodes (hint, hint, hint!). Right now the impression you are giving is: If the user name sounds like a troll, and the write-ups look like a troll, it is a troll." So, I decided to apply the principiis obsta rule, and killed:

  • Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children - pointless raving about the uselessness of adults. Besides, it has nothing to do with the title.
  • payment methods - all it said was "There are many other types of Electronic Funds Transfer, such as PayPal." Either tell us more, or just link PayPal to it.

Killed E1 legacy write-up in witty by the never-logged-in greaper. It seemed like a reply to something that is no longer there, and was adding nothing to the node.

Killed seeing by Percepied. Said: 'A euphemism for fucking. Example usage: "Deborah is seeing Raul".' Tu dicis, puer!

Note to self: Ching etropic's seeing tomorrow.

Nodes Killed

rowan not leaving till i add a node by optx. One line complaint about E from a noder who never noded anything else. Ohkaay...
Urban Sniper Shotgun by Mighty_KC. Utter idiocy - I think I'm going to be looking at this guy's nodes a bit closer.
saki by azatoth and bigcujo. Saki is an author. It is not Japanese rice wine. They weren't even very good writeups for sake.

For Gods - Nodes to be Deleted

hot carl. A unzapped 'zap me'. It's hot Karl anyways.
rowan not leaving till i add a node. P_I's response to optx.

For Gods - Nodes to be Edited

Leche del Diablo brand tequila. The 'brand tequila' part should probably be cut off.
Jawbone of an ass brand whiskey. Same here.

For Gods - Nodeshells to be Deleted

rowan not leaving till i add a node

For Gods - Users to be Deleted

optx. Eat the nodeless.

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