Note from author: This was composed by me listening to a friend for many months about their thoughts of the LDS faith/religion. I have put them together as if they were speaking to me and I occasionally answer back and return info. This is entirely opinionated and if you could be offended.
Let us say I am in a place. People have pulled me with strings from the left all my life. You came along and pulled me right, with a greater force than I have ever known and I moved to the right. But more people started pulling left with greater forces than before. I have moved to the right from since you came along. But I am not to the point of where you are, not to the spot where you are pulling from. I want to walk in your direction but I do not fully understand it. I don’t know if I need and want to go into your direction, but my desires and curiosities confuse me, and keep me from going any direction. I don’t hate your religion, but I don’t love it. I need time to think and figure things out. I don’t know, but I am not ready to accept anything. My morals and life style have changed since you came along, and I actually like it. I don’t laugh at movies with people drinking and doing drugs and having sex. I don’t like being around people that do those things, nor do I do them now. Even if I had not done drugs or sex before my thoughts about them have gone in an opposite direction. Everything that you have caused me.... your trying to convince me a ton, but you have convinced me a little. But as soon as you get me to that point, I will be pulled back. If I am not close to you, in the position I am in, I will lose all these thoughts. The people in my life, and the people in my life after you, they will take out everything that you have put in my life. Because I still like them and I am close to them at that time when you get taken away from me, I would lose it.
What I like about the church? What I like about your religion is a better question. I don’t like going to church, but I don’t necessarily dislike learning about it. What they say in the scriptures, I find it very interesting. And a lot of the stuff has made a lot more sense than it did before, and the stuff that has made more sense... well... I prayed about everything, and when I pray, I needed it every single time... and I pray a lot more than I use to. And I find it to be one of the best things you can do. As long as you pray for the right things. Generally people from the church are nice, and good examples. And for the people that say they are apart of the church and do the bad things aren’t really of it, they may go to church, they may read and pray... But they are not really a member unless they follow it fully and act upon it. Few people realize that. The few who don’t follow it and say they do ruin the imagine for some, but it does not for me. I haven’t been to church in a few years, and I’m in active, yet I pray every night, and I think there is some greatness that is out there that people are missing and looking for, yet I am close to God because of praying. Which is the best way to get close to God, by praying. Not only do you realize things about God, but you realize things about your self. Your greatest hopes and fears. My entire day is a walking prayer, and every time I am sitting here, it is just as if “God, I wish I didn’t do that,” or “Please help me with this.” A lot of people think they can’t think, and all those tired people in the morning of school, just getting up. I think all the time, and constantly, and what else are you doing when your thinking is talking to God. Thinking is such as prayer, and prayerlike thinking, without the other, the other one is garbage.
When it comes to dating “dating,” that can mean going on dates with someone, or being with someone. When you are 16 it is way easier to go out on a date, and at that age people are not as immature at that age. Things are also easier when you are 16 because you can drive. But the church makes dating a huge negative sign until you are 16. It is not the worse thing in the world to date before 16, but there are consequences. And if you have feelings for someone and they have feelings for you and if you don’t nurture them they go away. Which is what the church wants. I hate how the church controls peoples lives like that. But for people who need it, like modesty, it is good for them. Now I do not think God on judgement day will send me away because of what clothes I wear. But the sins that are related to them I will be judged on. Wearing sexy clothes and getting in troubles with guys will matter. But if I wear a belly shirt at my home I don’t think it will matter. Personally I’d go out how ever I want to be dressed but the sins closely related to them are easier to do because the opportunity is there. I wouldn’t let any guy have sex with me, but others may and that commandment may be for them. I think not eating a porkchop is a ridiculous thing for a religion. I understand this tatoos and piercing thing the church wants, but at one time I did consider it. I also considered pot, but now I wouldn’t. I drank alcohol, but now I won’t. But my mom is happy I don’t any more, and since her little ordeal last week where she got a huge hang over after being drunk, she will be even more against it. I have reconsidered everything, my thoughts of things have changed. I haven’t even pierced my ears. But if I did, I wouldn’t be a better person, same thing with everything else. You and I both have never seen drugs, that is apart of being in Utah. Living in Utah? A good thing or bad? It has it’s pluses, but it is good for some things and bad for others. It doesn’t even matter to me if people are Mormon or not, I choose and pick who I like. There are so many bad things about a lot of Mormons, but there so many good things about a lot of Mormons. I can’t rent a movie on Sunday, and I don’t like that but it keeps me from sinning. Also the Monday night thing, family night, the idea is good, but it wouldn’t just be for Mormons. Religion and government don’t mix, and I am glad. I respect belief of others and their religion, but I don’t want to do what they do. I also think they should have their choice, it isn’t a catastrophe that they believe in one thing and I don’t.
You are the weirdest person I know. “You are so weird!” And you shouldn’t be writing this down. But you are, and that makes you unique and I like it. Every time we would play our game where I would say something or vice versa and the other would go liar. We’d always admit it, even if by smiling or patiently waiting. This conversation sucked until I started talking about the affect you had on me, definitely the part of religion and how you tugged me on this one. We were talking about how our relationship wouldn’t last and how the summer was coming and we would break up because you’re a grade higher. But religion has brought us together, and as much as I hated religion before, I like it because it makes you happy. Here is something I was thinking, that seems to be the way things are. You are saying we can’t get any closer, unless I accept your religion, it is an obstacle and I can’t possibly accept your religion further. Here is another observation, you say to me... pretty much what you say to me... is we possibly can’t become closer without I becoming closer to your religion. But I say I can’t become closer to your religion unless you and I became closer. I would like to explain to you that my point of view of us becoming closer first. That is not my decision, that is just something I think things are, I just know it for a fact. Too many more sources, “pulling me left.” And I won’t be “pulled right” any more, and the “left people” will take over.
Let us think about this, music is a big part of my life. However it is only the music I listen to, the music which speaks to my soul. I don’t need music to go along with a prayer, but then you say back to me that music is a prayer. I don’t like church hymns, but then again you back to me, “they are my favorite.” I tell you how there is no way they are your favorite but you don’t budge, you just sit there knowing that what you know is true. You also say, “Hymns are scriptures, and they go hand in hand.” My night has been made by you and I thank you. I am sitting here on my very “very” comfortable comforter. You didn’t tell me you were writing this down for a while but when you told me I was nervous for a while but then I felt at peace with it. Religion is so apart of my life, everyone I know is either against it or fully for it. The only person letting me choose what I want says it is ok to believe what you believe. I can’t talk to someone who completely is against it because they will just shoot it down, and they understand. But I can’t talk to someone fully for it because they may not understand that other religions are also ok, and they sway only their own thinking. If you were raised another religion would you not just be as annoying about that religion saying how true it is? But you say back to me, “I would find the true of God, and learn about it, it is God’s will.” If there was a Jewish person, a catholic, and perhaps I was their really good friend and they would tell me that they hope I find my way to the right path and they think how their own religion is correct. But you say you know your church is true, and I see that in your eyes. When others say their religion is true, I just don’t know. But what if the Catholic religion was more true than what you believe? Or the people who think Jesus Christ hasn’t been born before. I think you will never know if they are right because you were raised one thing. I could poison someone else’s mind saying what if this is true, but you hold strong to your religion saying, “no, this is not true or is true.” I find it more comfortable to read the Bible because it is not just set for one religion, but the Book of Mormon is for one religion. You pull me clear to the second book, and it is harder to comprehend and understand. But I think I can get just as much from someone saying a nice thing about their religion as well. I believe human beings will eventually will get it right, but I don’t know what religion it is. I am not sure your’s is, but I am not sure it isn’t. You fell asleep earlier today, it is late now and you would normally be asleep. But you are up, and that means you were suppose to speak to me about this subject. So obviously God’s hand is involved in this. I would listen and consider your church on Sunday attending church with you. Our friend who is of your faith bashes down your religion even though she is a young women beehive president. I believe she needs some direction in life, if she saw me at church with you and her there and saw I was listening and pondering about it. She may just realize maybe this religion is true. Her parents and her would get more along if this happened. Opposed to her going to church every Sunday and sleeping through preaching about something she doesn’t believe. I have a deep respect for you and if you wanted me to listen to something I would.
You told me a story, it went something like this. “If a man owned a house and invited his friend over for breakfast and poured freshly squeezed orange juice into a picture and drank some, and he didn’t offer it to his friend. Then his friend asks, “Can I have some orange juice?” and the man would reply, “Oh sorry, I thought that if I offered you some that you may be offended because I didn’t know if you liked orange juice.” It is related to religion, where as if I didn’t offer you my great joy in religion than it would be like orange juice where as I didn’t offer you some and you wanted it, but even if you didn’t want it and I found out that I did because you asked. So it would be important you share your joy. So I also may benefit and learn with you the joys of life and religion.”
I look at you and see you are happy being LDS and someone such as I would say to you, “You are happy with your life and religion, I wish it was me. I don’t know about my beliefs, but your’s are firm as a rock and stable. You know your religion is true, you know for a fact.”
Sincerely, yours truely.
P.S. Drinking water is like kissing, my quote of the day.