Located at: http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-alanislyrics.html

The Alanis Morissette Lyrics Generator is a marvelous little toy that lets you generate songs filled with spite and malice on a variety of topics. Just provide a few words related to the topic and the generator does the rest.
Here's an example of a little ditty about poop.

"Why"

Toilets, toilet paper, hemhorrhoids
Why God, Why?
Toilet paper, assholes, poop
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this yellow horror?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of poop
Like a Chaucer character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Grundels, toilets, asshairs
Why God, Why?
Poop, asshairs, hemhorrhoids
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this yellow disaster that is my life?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of poop
Like a Chaucer character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

What have I done to deserve this yellow misery?
Surrounded on all sides with the Hell of poop
Like a Chaucer character, I'm wordy and alone
Why God, Why?

Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
Why God, Why?
so i happened upon this lovely brunching shuttlecocks featured toy a while back. and wouldn't you know it? attessa just happened to come by my cubicle as i was playing with it. after explaining the mad lib concept underlying the lyrics generator, i asked her for a couple words. she was in the middle of some techwriting deadline and was under quite a bit of stress. asking her to make up some words on the fly didn't help. this, of course, flavored her choice of words.

"okay, name something you really hate"

"um.."

"oh, c'mon.. something you hate. this should be easy!" a pause. "well, what do you hate?"

"aaaah, the pressure!" she was talking about me, of course, but i thought it would be a good enough entry all the same.

"okay..'the pressure'.. now 'six plural nouns that have something to do with that thing'", i said, reading off the monitor. "just six things."

"um, i can't think of anything.. thoughts?"

"okay, good. another one."

"denials..", she spat almost instantly, kinda laughing. (something to do with this one woman she was seeing at the time, but let's not get into that.) i typed it in. "um.. headaches..?" which seemed logical because she did have one. "uh... i'm sorry i can't think.. i must have this blank expression on my face."

i looked at her. she did. so with a smirk, i typed that in. "blank expressions.."

"hey, i didn't say that!", she protested, at first. then realizing she had nothing better, shrugged and said, "okay, whatever." and starting laughing hysterically because she really couldn't think of anything better.

"laughs ...of... hysteria", i said, as i was typing it in. she smiled. "okay, this last one yer doing.."

"...seriously, miller, i can't think of anything." she looked at me, apologetically. i kinda scowled at her. "hey, don't make an evil face at me!"

"evil... faces.." i smiled. "alright, now favorite color." i looked at her. she was in spirit of darkness mode again and typed in "black" without waiting for an answer. "favorite poet?"

"um.. how about dr. seuss?

"ooh, good one. now a name of an exgirlfriend."

"um.. how about.. no. gretel. put gretel."

"okay. all we need now is a title."

she chose "I Think" and it's long since been posted on my cubicle wall. she's long since left the company but the song lyrics are still up there. in fact, i'm looking at it right now..

"I Think"

I Think thoughts are really a huge problem
I Think denials are too much on my mind
I Think headaches have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a black rain, beating down on me
Like a dr. seuss line, which won't let go of my brain
Like gretel's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure

I Think blank expressions are gonna drive us all crazy
And laughs of hysteria make me feel like a child
I Think evil faces will eventually be the downfall of cilivilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a black rain, beating down on me
Like a dr. seuss line, which won't let go of my brain
Like gretel's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure

Like a black rain, beating down on me
Like gretel's smile, cruel and cold
Like dr. seuss's ass, it is in my head
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure
Blame it on the pressure

conveniently located at http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-alanislyrics.html

"Will to Live"
Theoretically by Alanis Morrisette
with much help from kaytay and Mr. Neilson

I feel miserable
Burials make me ill
I feel miserable
Funerals tear at my foundations
I feel miserable
Losses are dragging me down to the depths of misery
I want to die

Is it because of death that I feel this way?
With the purple rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Or am I lost in tale of Poe, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Your mom Broke My Will to Live
Your mom Broke My Will to Live
Your mom Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Your mom Broke My Will to Live

I feel miserable
Guns rot the flesh from my bones
I feel miserable
Churches defeat my purpose
I feel miserable
Priests are doing their best to impale my soul
I want to die

Is it because of death that I feel this way?
With the purple rays of misery pounding on my brain?
Am I lost in tale of Poe, adrift far from home
I don't think so, I don't think so.

Your mom Broke My Will to Live
Your mom Broke My Will to Live
Oh God, Your mom Broke My Will to Live
I was getting better but then
Your mom Broke My Will to Live

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