He walked to the door of the restaurant
, to try and at least give me some
notice, some warning that they were going to walk in.
As it was, I didn't want to be sitting in the back, sweating and nervous
the woman I lost my heart
to two years ago walked in, as we saw each other
for the first time in a a little over a year... So I got up, and walked to her
as she entered.
She looked at me, her head tilted ever-so-slightly. "Hug?"
My own girlfriend, a woman I love very much, had left the day previous to Maine
for two weeks. Amanda
had just arrived, for an indeterminate amount of time.
She'd traveled far, over two thousand miles, on a greyhound
We spent a few hours
sitting at the bar and grill
, her, myself, a close
friend, and his ex-girlfriend
. Our relationships started at the same time,
and both ended
within the span of two days, almost a year later... And none
of the wounds
, for either of us, had completely healed.
I'd like to say that we laughed
, and talked
, just as good friends
but that's not quite the truth... The tension
was a physical thing, you could
see it in every move
, every breath
We parted ways
a little under an hour ago, and I'm not quite right
I doubt I will be for some time, and I imagine that I'm going to have to cancel
tomorrow's tentative coffee date
I don't want to be with
her, I don't still love
her... In fact
hardly the same person anymore...
But I don't want to see her
, not right now. I don't want to look at her lips,
and think that once
, a long time ago
, we kissed. That we were in love
that we were invincible
, that we were the world.
She hurt me more than she will ever know. She tore apart my world. And I don't
want to feel anything when it comes to her, anything at all... Not now, maybe
My life has moved on.