He walked to the door of the restaurant, to try and at least give me some notice, some warning that they were going to walk in.

As it was, I didn't want to be sitting in the back, sweating and nervous as the woman I lost my heart to two years ago walked in, as we saw each other for the first time in a a little over a year... So I got up, and walked to her as she entered.

She looked at me, her head tilted ever-so-slightly. "Hug?"

My own girlfriend, a woman I love very much, had left the day previous to Maine for two weeks. Amanda had just arrived, for an indeterminate amount of time. She'd traveled far, over two thousand miles, on a greyhound bus.


We spent a few hours sitting at the bar and grill, her, myself, a close friend, and his ex-girlfriend. Our relationships started at the same time, and both ended within the span of two days, almost a year later... And none of the wounds, for either of us, had completely healed.

I'd like to say that we laughed, and talked, just as good friends do, but that's not quite the truth... The tension was a physical thing, you could see it in every move, every breath anyone made.

We parted ways a little under an hour ago, and I'm not quite right yet. I doubt I will be for some time, and I imagine that I'm going to have to cancel tomorrow's tentative coffee date with them.

I don't want to be with her, I don't still love her... In fact, she's hardly the same person anymore...

But I don't want to see her, not right now. I don't want to look at her lips, and think that once, a long time ago, we kissed. That we were in love, that we were invincible, that we were the world.

She hurt me more than she will ever know. She tore apart my world. And I don't want to feel anything when it comes to her, anything at all... Not now, maybe not ever.

My life has moved on.

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