" If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions. "

Rule 34 is a "rule of the internet", not so much enforced as just supremely true. Along with its corollary, Rule 35—if it does not, it will be created—it adequately describes the most superfluous facet of the internet hate machine: the perversion and ruination of everything, whether or not it is important to you, for the pleasure of some sick, sadistic, faceless weirdo on the other side of the net.

What kind of faceless weirdo? Anonymous. The highly pretentious yet applaudibly guileful name choice of the internet collective. It wants everything and nothing. It is everyone and no one. For every one you bring down, two more will take his place because they were already there. Already ready. They are your friends, your coworkers. Your parents, siblings, children. They are you. It's no wonder they take upon themselves the Guy Fawkes masks of V for Vendetta: the similarities between the two are startling to the point of being pretty much identical. You cannot kill an idea. Especially if that idea is sexy, attractive pornography.

Despite anyone's attempts to assert the contrary, Rule 34 is actually true. Anything you can think of has already been pornified: if it hasn't, then some less specific superset of it probably has been, and someone will come along to do it later anyway. There's a very pragmatic approach to why. If you call attention to the fact that someone hasn't made porn of something, word will spread and an ambitious drawfag step in, and correct that glaring error. If you try to keep the idea to yourself, so as to prevent the events in the previous sentence from occurring, then how can we even be sure you've had that idea? As far as we know, we're unable to find that gap you've noticed, so to us, Rule 34 is still confirmed. (This latter half is how you cover things from your personal life, specifically involving something or someone that isn't popular on the web. How can we be sure you're not already not on the web? Give us a picture and prove it! (Heh heh heh...)) Basically, as soon as you prove it wrong, it quickly expands to fill your gap. It's like googlewhacking: once you succeed, the more people you tell, the more you invalidate your success for future generations.

That out of the way, say you're one of the more enlightened ones, who's okay with their childhood ruined for a cheap erotic thrill, proviso it's kept only on sites that actively warn minors to stay away and all that legalese nonsense. How d'ya get yourself summa that? Well, you just go straight to the horse's mouth: the sites where that kind of porn comes from.

4chan, the mother of all lawlessness, the veritable asshole of the internet, is chock-full of questionable content and 18+ boards. If your skin is thick enough to not get "butthurt" from doing something inane and stupid and subsequently getting the living shit trolled out of you, then you'll probably fit right in, and, overlooking some of the vapid arguments that arise, you can amass a pretty extensive catalogue of every kind of beautiful, childhood-slaughtering pornography the world has to offer. There's also a type of site called a booru, wherein images of every kind are shared en masse: this means, especially on the adult ones, porn of every sort is all over the place. Danbooru, Gelbooru, Sexybooru, Monstergirlbooru, Derpibooru, e621, http://rule34.paheal.net/, it just never ends. If all else somehow fails, feel free to make a Google search with SafeSearch off.

So. I hope we've all learned a lot today about Aladdin taking it in the bum from Jafar. The moral of the story? Nothing is sacred.

[IN12#16]