Dear God, I Love Pie

A General is sitting at a desk, thinking very deeply. His Aide stands behind him and off to one side, attentive and silent. Suddenly, a thought strikes the general and he bangs his hand against the table, startling the aide.

GENERAL: Why, that's it! By jove, it's brilliant!

The aide eyes the general warily. It seems as if he has gone through this sort of thing many times before but still isn't sure what to expect.

AIDE: What is, sir?

GENERAL: Pie. We could end this miserable war with pie!

AIDE: Er, what was that again, sir?

GENERAL: A peace offering! A piping hot snack! Why fight a long war and be blown into bits when we can offer pie instead? Genius. Pure genius!

AIDE: Sir, what if they want to blow us to bits?

GENERAL: (banging a fist into the table) Then they'll take a burning hot pie to the face like a man! Mark my words, young man: years from now, when the world is at peace, they'll honor my name as the man who ended the war WITH PIE!

AIDE: (hesitantly) Ah, sir...

GENERAL: (testily) Well, man, spit it out!

AIDE: What kind of pie, sir?

The general opens his mouth as if to say something, and then closes it. He looks surprised at first, then puzzled, and finally, at a loss for words.

GENERAL: Oh dear. I haven't thought about that.

AIDE: There, there, sir, they will still remember you in the history books, I'm sure.