As we sat last night, Will and Houston had gone inside
to listen to some song. Julio and I stayed outside. We
began to talk, and on thing led to another. Pretty soon,
we were both talking about things that had happened to
us. I told him about the time I held a loaded gun to my
head, I couldn't help it and I started crying, he
comforted me as I cried.I had never cried in front of one
of my peers in my life, and i cried in front of him. I
told him about the way my parents left me on the side of
the road and how my aunt was the only one that actually
cared enough to pick me up. He seemed to understand all
that I told him. I told him so much, and he as well told
me much of the same. A lot of what he said, I already knew,
but then he opened up more and started telling me more. I
was astonished at what he told me. Yet, everything that he
told me, just helped me respect him more. I've realized
that he and one other person are the only to people I
could ever trust enough with my secrets. Those dark
that reside in the back of my head. Those of
which had consumed my life, which remained as a fear of
We sat quietly for a while, and then our conversation
resumed. He stated, "This shit right here, that the both
of us have put up with, will make us so much stronger than
Will or alot of these other people could ever understand.
It's all Darwinian man, survival of the fucking fittest,
and you and me are going to be the fucking fittest."
Those words have seemed to stick in my head more so than
any other. The way he worded it, the moment he said it,
made it so fucking profound that, I doubt i will ever be
able to get those words to leave my head.