adolescent lap dances

My best friend teaches the 6th grade at a middle school. Her kids are crazy and I really didn't think they could get any worse at that school until I heard about this yesterday...

She was telling about a tragedy in the 8th grade hall at her school. Dear lord. I hope that you are all ready for this:

It was the attention of all "pimps and pimpettes." Okay. I wonder if these 8th grade children even know what the actual Webster's definition of a "pimp" is. I doubt it. I hope that they don't. I don't know if I did when I was that age.

It was called a "Booty Boppin'" party. What that means I am not sure having not actually attended one myself.

The saddest part about this invitation is that the end said, "Guaranteed lap dances." What? THEY ARE IN THE EIGHTH GRADE! That makes them what, 13? No. No, no. A 13-year-old should not know what a lap dance is. I doubt that I knew what a lap dance was when I was 13. I sure hope I didn't because that just seems sad to me. I didn't even know what an actual lap dance entailed until I watched G-String Divas in college. And then I was like, "Woah! They do that!?!" And then I saw one when I went to a strip club the first time and was astonished once again at the amount of touching involved.

It that what this world is coming to? 13-year-olds having to resort to promising lap dances to gain friends. I hope not. If it is, that really scares me and makes me extremely sad.

I am going to go ahead and risk sounding like my father and just say this: Kids are crazy these days. They really are. Life in the 8th grade hall was so much different when I was there 10 years ago. There were no guns or lap dances or death threats. We would never dream of sending out an actual invitation for a party with "guaranteed lap dances" in fear of someone finding it. And shit, we didn't even know what a lap dance was. And where is this child's parents? I am not one to blame the parents for every little thing that a child does, but this is getting out of hand. If I had been the teacher that found the invite, I would call the parents and let them know what's up man.

When I was a kid I always heard about these parties where kids make-out and go into the closest for a little 7 minutes in heaven session but I never actually went to one and I also never knew of their existence in my own school. I always looked at them in an urban myth sort of way. I also thought they only existed on television to warn kids about the dangers of them so they could have nice little moral lesson at the end (Full House of course).

I just wish that kids these days would just stay kids for a little while longer, you know? What happened to the good ol' days when holding hands was a big deal and if a guy went up your shirt you felt like a slut?

Now they are giving lap dances at parties. Let's just hope they keep their clothes on.