I just don't undersatnd
boys.
The latest case is someone I've been secretly crushing over for the past year and a half. Saturday night things finally reached a boiling point and we ended up getting physical for the first time. Now, I don't really know what to do about him. There's a physical distance between us of about an hour, which is the most immediate impedance to my trying to start something with him, but there's also the fact that I'm still unemployed and short on funds to put towards fun in general. So for the past two days, I've been trying to exchange witty banter with him and keep coming up short. I just can't seem to come up with anything funny to say.
If I don't stop this pattern of crash and burn soon, I know he's going to just get tired of my attempts to be cute and tell me to shut the fuck up or something. I guess even after six years of trying, I still don't know my way around boys. Perhaps the intimidation factor is so high because he's someone I always figured to be out of my league. I feel this need to impress the guy because my stupid brain is convinced he'll get bored with me if I don't. I spend too many minutes trying to figure out what to say, and what I finally end up with comes out sounding so stupid.
Am I thinking too much?