Hah! You think drinking too much coffee is hardcore? Bullshit, that real stuff is staying up for a week on crank.

You'll learn the meaning of the word "zombie".

I mean sure, it's all fun and games when it starts off, just a line to help pass the time, but before you know it, BAM! It's 3 pm the next day, and you're standing in 7-11, a blank look on your face as you teeter slightly, trying to decide what kind of gum you want(it keeps the jaws busy).

And suuuuure, coffee'll make you vampire, but you dont ever see yuppies ripping out car-decks or giving blowjobs for a Starbucks double-mocha!

I think crank is the way more hardcore version of coffee.

In reality, coffee is just a gateway drug to speed and cocaine.