Now I've done it. Clickety-clack go these keystrokes and it appears that I've begun an update to a story that I never truly meant to make public.

And so it goes.

She is all silver-smiles, and silken glances. That should have been my first warning. I should have stayed away. I should have known that I have no strength when it comes to women. I like to pretend it is so. I like to pretend I am a man of honor, integrity... hell, even fuckin' grit in the right situation - but women sap my spirit dry, mainly I believe to quench their thirst. A thirst that I will in no way ever comprehend.

I am not trying to get into her pants.

I already did.

As much as some would believe, we did not sit up at night, flashlights in hand, going over the blueprints of just how we were going to fuck over the people we care about. No, as so often happens in these situations; it just happened.

And now I have a juggernaut of emotions to play with. Fuck it. I juggle them like they are toddler-plush-toys. This is my life, and it's happening one moment at a time.

We played for one moment. We smiled, we danced, we traded beliefs on this and that chorus - whether indie has played itself into the ground, and what the next big-sound would be. We played.

We were foolish and we should have known what would happen next. Her body in my arms, her lips on mine, and her kiss driving all rational thought out of my head. The next step was just a foregone conclusion. But as you can tell, this story is tinged with bitterness and sadness.

I am the asshole.

This girl may be the most amazing, angelic spirit to walk this earth, but she is first my best-friend's ex-girlfriend.

And so it goes.

I make my mistakes and I make them decisively. I don't fuck around with, 'oh, I'm, sorry, was that your parking spot?' No. I am grand in my aggrandizement. One might write a story about it some day, if ever one had the inclination. Boy meets girl. Girl loves boy. Boy has best-friend who would kill him if he ever touched that love. Rip his guts out and display them to the world as pure and righteous justification.

And the world would cheer. Fuckin-Aye.

Caught between a rock and love. And if you, my dear reader, can tell me how to save any part of the situation I'm in, then you would be this era's buddha. Let god sing your praises.