I think I miss your company the most. You're the only reason that I didn't simply give up immediately, I gave it a try because you were there and you made everything seem just a little easier, maybe even liveable. It was excruciatingly hard for me to be dragged from one high school setting to another, especially considering I'm shy and had just settled into a nice group of peers, and all of that other great stuff. You, though, you let me follow you around and hang out with your friends whenever I wanted to.

I remember that day, when I was really depressed and hadn't left my room for more than ten or fifteen minutes in a week, you walked in with your friend and told my pajama wearing self to get up and go do something with you. I refused, but you kept pestering me and you helped me with the puzzle I was working on for a while and kept coaxing me into doing something, anything. I didn't give in because I was being stubborn, but after you left I dressed and went out, and I wasn't sad anymore.

I also remember the time that we were joking around late at night when you had to walk home, even though it was only a couple of minutes and we could almost see your house from mine.. you said you were afraid that the crazy native man that wandered around town might get you. I knew you were only kidding, but we yelled back and forth as you walked and you yelled goodnight when you got to the door, I yelled back in response and then I heard your door close. It seemed so silly and foolish, but I remember it still because it brought a smile to my face. I wonder if you were sober enough to remember the time that we picked you up after your first real party and you were so drunk, but you asked me to hold your chewing gum, and I did, even though I had no idea why.. and then you asked for it back and started laughing.

You sat there and listened to music with me, you let me go to your house and watch tv with you when I was "rebelling" against my parents and simply had to get away from the house after one of my little outbursts. You rode your motorbike around and I'd sit on the front porch in the old rocking chair waiting for you to stop at my house and say hello, because I knew you would, you always did.

I was in love with you, not romantically, of course, I was simply in love with the way you made me laugh and the jokes and the infinite amounts of fun we had together. You helped me through so much more than you'll ever know because I don't really have it in me to tell you, we were never close on that level, really.. so I'll put this here and maybe some day, far from now.. you'll read it and realize just what it is you did for me, and how grateful I am. People tell me you've changed now, I haven't seen you in a year or so.. but you are my cousin, and you're moving here soon, so I'm sure our families will get together now and then.

I don't think that we'll ever be quite like that again but it is one of those times in my life I'll never forget, and I have and always will cherish the memories I wouldn't have had but for your presence in the universe.