Wistful. That is me on this day, on this dreamy infinitely
glorious day where upon I woke up realizing that I am luckier than any one little human deserves to be. Of course you.. start me not on the topic of you who would occupy
every last thought floating in my mind, every blink of my eyes I remember your words and every time I smile I know it's because you exist. Dreamy, awfully dreamy and beautiful.. I noded the lyrics to
Christmas Song today, and they're stuck in my head at present.
Why in all this anger, have you
filled me up with love...
love, love, love
My
best friend, tonight she sat up in her room and for a while I thought, why should I have to bother why is it always me that must comfort the
broken little humans? And then I remembered.. I like to, and it would be so immensely selfish of me, despite the stress it puts me through from time to time, to ignore those who just need a little love, a hug perhaps some
encouragement. I dragged her out of the room, in the end and we searched for frogs down by the pond. Her little problems, of course they're still there and will probably bother her to a point but she smiled I saw it and she forgot,
if only for a while.
I am exhausted. I am immeasurably happy.
I am. I love being.
I've so much to do, and so very little time to do it but I think I stopped honestly caring about the leetle things the universe might have me fret over.
Falling is nice. I went for a few bike rides today, it's fun to try and not kill myself on the rocks that happen to be all along the path, not to mention the copious amounts of tree roots, wild thriving tree roots that never stop, I swear every last inch of that ground is
held firmly together by intertwined root systems. It's astonishing that something like that can happen. The grass is nearly five feet tall on either side of that path right now, amazing, and beautiful and perfect. Not perfect, really, but
I rarely see beauty in perfection.
I miss you right now, I have a feeling I'm going to do a lot of missing you in the next little while. Funny how life always manages to pull sources of intense happiness away from you
for a time, kind of just holds them there, out of reach and you can do nothing but ponder, stare off into space longingly wishing it wasn't as such. In the end I guess it's good, the
missing, because you realize how lucky you are to have what you do, when you do. It's hard to take anything for granted when you have to be temporarily separated from someone so
infinitely dreamy.
I got a phone call tonight from my friend
Valerie, whom I actually miss a lot, we were good friends in high school. It's funny, we haven't drifted apart, but we hardly ever talk. We're as close as ever but quite far distance-wise, despite it all, every time we talk it's like we just saw eachother yesterday.
I love that. I have that sort of relationship with quite a few people..
Love, love, love.. all I can think of is
you, and love.