He's trying to make my world smaller and crueler. I'm not sure I can prevent him from doing that. If I were braver, stronger, better able to defend myself, maybe. But I'm alone and small and legally prevented from attacking him while he's outside.

My pervert / stalker is coming by about once a week now. The police officer who came over tonight was very nice, but still could offer nothing to help. Even if they caught the guy, they could only charge him with indecent exposure - a $300 to $500 fine. Fine. And what are the odds that they'll catch him? The response time is not so good because I live in a low crime neighborhood. All of the patrolmen are up in the worse areas - which is the way it should be.

I just hate this contraction of my world. The fact that a stranger can come like a wolf at my door. That I'm afraid to go out alone at night. Afraid to come back alone. Afraid to be here alone. I don't know if he's going to hurt me. I don't know if he's going to rape me. I don't know if he's going to kill me.

It's not right! Other people should not be able to make me feel this way! I've got enough going on in my life without this! WHY does the law say I can't shoot him while he is outside and I am in? He IS threatening me. I definitely feel threatened.

At least this opportunity to rant seems to help. Thank for lending me your eyes.