Things have been pretty
great at the moment and I thought things had finally changed. I
hate people. I hate the way they don’t think about what they say before they say it. That makes me
unhappy. I actually thought nothing mattered to me anymore but getting on with life but maybe I was wrong, maybe I’m
lying to myself.
Over the least year I changed a lot. I think I
grew up. I realised that other things were more important than what people thought. So, for a while I ignored it. I
ignored it all. Then, today in assembly I could hear them talking about me, talking about my
appearance and how they didn’t
like me. I think at that point something inside
died. I wanted to
cry,
curl up in a ball and
hide. I can’t believe they still make me feel like this.
I laughed it off at the time, the hurt there and still
raw. Why can’t they leave me alone? I thought once, being young and stupid, that if I was thin I would be
popular and people would like me, I lied to myself for so long. Over the last year my appearance has changed a lot and I have gained
confidence from that and I achieved something for myself and myself only. So, I am going to continue to laugh away the
pain. Maybe I am only cheating myself but it is hell of a lot easier than facing them and my
fears.
I also want to add just because I had my hair cut
short it does not mean you can say I look like a
boy. If you don’t like it don’t comment because all you are doing is trying to
hurt me and I think it is starting to work. I don’t have a problem with you, so, why do you with me? Think about it, I’m quite sure it isn’t a good reason.
Thank-you to all the people who have been around for me recently. You Have all been a great help. Cheers
:)