I don't know how I could do what I did, but it really happened. There was no reason!
I hadn't suffered any abuses
from my parents that could have led me to become
violent or irritable. I hadn't taken any drugs that could have disturbed my mental
health. I hadn't had any bad relations that could have influenced me to become
a dement criminal
. There's no other explanation but madness
That morning I suddenly woke up from a nightmare
with cold sweat covering my face
and my heart beating rapidly. I stood up, went through the darkness to the bathroom
to take a shower. I closed my eyes while the water flew over my skin attempting
to find a reason for the strange feeling that invaded my whole body. But there
was none. I felt empty
, without any subjection, as if my body was about to fall
apart and brake in one thousand pieces. I stopped the shower. My hand wiped the
steamy mirror and an unknown, ancient face appeared on it. I didn't recognize
it at first, but then, scared of the colourless head with bags under the eyes,
I noticed it was me.
surrounded my while my body ate breakfast but my mind was somewhere else,
as if I was disconnected. I saw myself sitting at the table as if my soul
escaped from the flesh of my body. Suddenly the whispering
began. It was a silent,
horrible wine that penetrated my ears and shoke my brain. Like the terrible moan
of death. I reentered my chilly body and my eyes looked around searching the origin
of that anguished murmur. But then it stopped. I thought it would have been my
My body walked to school and I tried to remember something about the exam. Nothing
came. The bell rung, and the pupils entered the classroom
. When the teacher gave
me the sheet I noticed that strange feeling again. And there was that whispering
again. I heard it somewhere behind my head, but when I turned back there was nobody.
I thought I must be stressed and tried to calm down. I still tried to concentrate
on my work. As the noise became louder and louder I began to sweat and tremble.
I tried to believe that the voice was a joke of my mind, but suddenly the whispering
ordered "Kill them all!
". I was terrified, looking around to find a
convincing explanation for that phantasmal voice which the others didn't seem
to hear. I began to think that this moan couldn't only be produced by my imagination.
My hand moved quickly over the sheet of paper attempting to write the exam and
forget about the whispering. Now the sweat was flowing all over my face, my eyes
looking at nowhere when the whispering shouted again "You have to kill them!".
" I asked loudly, but nobody answered, the class just looked
at me as if I were mad. I looked down at the table and my swollen eyeballs opened
widely when I noticed that over the sheet my hand had written with capital letters
"THEY HAVE TO DIE!".
I was so shocked that I couldn't stop the trembling and my heart beat fast when
suddenly my hand grabbed the pencil and held it threatening over my head. Surprised
by the rebellion of my body, I attempted to gain control over my extremity. "Stop!
" I shouted, but it sticked the pencil into the neck of the girl
in front of me. Unable to cry, the girl just took out her tongue, coughed blood
and tried to remove the pencil
with her hands. A moment later her head fell backwars
and her hands hung from her shoulders. The others looked up and, frightened of
the dead girl with a gurgeling wound on her neck, shouted and cried and ran to
the door to escape.
Terrified I noticed that I was no longer the controller of my body
as my hand
took the pencil out of the girl's neck. My legs stood up and persecuted the other
pupils while my hand moved the pencil up and down. They yelled hysterically and
cried out when the pencil penetrated their skin and splatted their vanes. Blood
sprang out of their wounds and stained the class red. "This is not happening,
it's just a dream
" I said to myself looking at the pale face of the pupil
my body was about to kill and my eyes closed and I hoped to be mad. But when my
eyes opened again the reality
appeared: my body had killed the whole class. And
there was I, in the middle of the floor full of the dead corpses that once had
been my friends. I fell down on my knees and cried.
"Why?" I asked and the whispering answered "Because you wanted
Then I discovered that the whispering was the voice of darkness and destruction
that lives in the interior of all souls. We try to hide it behind our sense of
because we can't imagine that there are no rules to predict and control.
But somewhere and in some way the whispering comes out to show how disordered,
how confused we are. Then we can see that we are only tiny puppets guided by the
only universal truth, chaos
But don't believe me, I'm mad
. Keep on thinking you're the owner
of your body.