I recently learned that I have been
blessed with the
gift of being able to set myself into
panic with
ease. I think perhaps too
rationally during these times and feel quite
helpless about
situations that are
out of control or just beyond my grasp.
I'll explain.
A
panic attack feels like nothing else. Whatever is
irking you is all that's
important then and its very
difficult to stop yourself from
slipping into
madness. My
heart races and sometimes I start to
pace. If I can, I will walk to view a larger
perspective of the world around me and calm down. If I can't, I have to fight it off.
Thunderstorms, my well being and
lonliness are my two biggest
enemies.
It doesn't help that I live alone. Having someone who knows that I'm extremely
tense nearby
really can help, and their
perspective can be
soothing. Their
arms around me would be another
plus, but why I don't have it that way would take at least another
dozen nodes to
explain.
In the mean time, I have cut my
caffiene intake to as little as possible.