I feel
vaguely aware of my
transformation as a human being. It has occured gradually, over the time period of this semester - and it all goes back to my
Rhetoric 1302 teacher.
I'm a first year college student taking basic level courses. The basic written communications class, Rhetoric 1302, is not respected by many students on campus. I always receive sympathy from my friends upon lamenting that I have an essay due soon. That is, until I revealed that said essay was for RHET-1302.
Despite its reputation, this class has changed me for the better. Even though I have learned valuable writing and aruging skills in the class, they have not affected me profoundly. What HAS is my teacher. He has a spark - an enjoyment of his work and an exitement about life - that is missing in most of my other professors.
This spark has acted as a sort of jump start out of my depression: I've gotten the ball rolling again, perhaps a little slower than I would like it to be, but it is rolling. I've taken information from various sources (my teacher, friends, books, music) and have used it to make myself a bit more mature. I can express myself more clearly than before (even though I still realize my communication skills still have much room for improvement). I am less selfish and more open to considering other viewpoints. I found my passion, music, again. I may not have direction, but I don't worry myself to death about it like I used to.
I am genuinely pleased with my progress, however, there is an issue I have been wondering about. I feel regret for how I acted in my previous romantic relationship, which ended approximately two months ago.. (we have not said a word to each other since we broke up.) I was something close to a black hole of emotional need (as Templeton once put it). I was insecure, paranoid, sick, depressed, and generally not a fun person to be around. Now, that I have made a turn for the better, I am thinking about contacting her. We parted on good terms.. I would like to call her up, and begin to rebuild our friendship. I would like to apologize for some past actions of mine and see if she would like for us to catch up on each other's lives..
I wonder if this would be wise. I'm not sure if she would be receptive to me.. perhaps I should just leave well enough alone, and wait to see if she ever calls me.
If you have any ideas as to what I should do, I'd appreciate your input.